The right thing at wrong time is the wrong thing.
A recurring lesson in my life. I never quite got it right. There are so many instances of my life that I look back on and think “If only I had done XYZ back then, but I didn’t”
Now, I don’t subscribe to the belief of “If only I had done XYZ back then, then I would be happier/life would be better” – because we just don’t have enough information to draw that conclusion. Life would be different, yes. but better? That is still undetermined. I am a woman who is committed to the path I am on, it is true and it is perfect for me and the lessons that move my heart the most. Life is designed that way.
There is a sometimes sense of missed opportunities. Of moments that have passed, that maybe if I had taken the right action, during what I now realize was the right time – then life would have landed me in a different space right now.
Hindsight is always 20/20. Present moment vision is something that must be cultivated, and involves a great deal of discipline, trust, courage and intuition. Present moment vision allows us to take the right action at the right time – because we see all. We see this moment for what it is, what it can be, and we move towards our potential.
When I look back at my life before Reya (& Mia) – I think “Oh my GOD what were you doing with all that time you had?!” I could written blog posts every single week, hell, every single day if I wanted to. I could have started my youtube channel back then. I would have had so much time and freedom to do it with no interruptions. Now, this same task requires careful planning, almost a week to complete, and is littered with (albeit very cute and welcome) interruptions.
My husband and I could have gone on more dates, more romantic vacations, seen more of our friends etc.
Another example, younger-me who gained some weight in my final year of med school, really should have met postpartum-me who felt out of breath climbing the the stairs at her home. Postpartum-me would have told younger-me – Wow you have all the time, and all the resources you need to cultivate a strong and healthy body that you feel GREAT in. Life is only going to get more complicated, more variable.
She wouldn’t have listened tho because ain’t no body the boss of younger-me. Not even me. lol.
Shoulda woulda coulda
I don’t want to get bogged down with this futile thinking – shoulda woulda coulda. But the string of such events make me realize how precious time is. And how all we have of it is RIGHT NOW.
But why don’t we just do the right thing at the right time?
It could be many things. Fear. Stress. Lack of vision. Lack of desire.
I think this is a good point to talk of lack of vision and desire.
Over time, as we age, we mature in so many ways. Sometimes we just don’t know we want something at a certain time. How can we blame ourselves for not pursuing it early enough?
We tend to pursue the thing we desire the most at a certain time. That thing may not be the most elevated thing – sex, drugs, relationships, pleasure – but that doesn’t mean it is unimportant to your growth as a human being.
Life is bustling with opportunity and potential. It takes a lot of self awareness to hold and follow your souls vision, when there are so many experiences around you that you may be drawn to.
So don’t beat yourself up too much about not pursing something earlier, if you just didn’t know what you really wanted!
But when you DO know. Do it. Don’t miss the opportunity.
Why it’s important
When the right action is completed at the right time, something happens on an energetic level. This particular moment releases a wave of energy, the channels align, energy flows, and it is from this energy that the next exact right circumstance is drawn into your life – which requires the next exact right action. When we live moment to moment, situation to situation in this state – we are in a state of flow.
Right doesn’t mean easy
Just because it’s the right time for something, doesn’t mean it’s going to feel easy. It still requires tremendous action and courage. This is so important to remind ourselves, because we so often find ourselves waiting for “The right moment” which we believe is a moment in time when something we have to do feels easy and effortless. More often than not, the right action at the right time comes with the sweet stretch of growth. It hurts a little bit, sometimes it hurts a lot. It can feel overwhelming, frightening, uncertain. But on a deep, intuitive level, you hold a certain awareness that that something has aligned and it is time for a particular effort on your part. A meditation practice will help you become more sensitive to this awareness.
What if we don’t do the right thing at the right time?
You start working against the flow of life and it gets tiring.
If you realize you didn’t do the right thing at the right time, and then try to do it again at some other random time – sure, it can still happen for you – but it will require more energy and effort. It may feel like you’re forcing something. The energy doesn’t flow as well.
Does that mean missed opportunities are forever gone
I don’t believe this is the case entirely. Life is abundant and new opportunities will manifest constantly. Every moment is an opportunity for you to get in sync, and flow.
But will this exact same opportunity come back to you?
Maybe. The circumstances may vary a little bit, so it wont be the exact same, but you may get a similar opportunity again.
Say you get an opportunity to switch career paths into one that is more aligned with your true passions emerges when you’re 28 years old. Right action, right time. But for some reason, you decline it. Maybe you hadn’t build up enough interest, desire or insight into your true passions yet – so you didn’t realize how important it was for you. Maybe it was a safer decision to stay in your current job. Maybe you just didn’t feel like starting over. Time goes on.
Then, when you are 38, 10 years later, an opportunity to switch to this career paths comes up again. Same kind of switch. Same person. Right action, right time. But the circumstances are slightly different. You may have a family now. You may be even more entrenched in your current job to even consider changing career.
So yes, opportunities can circle back to you, but time changes circumstances.
How do I make sure I’m doing the right thing at the right time?
Ahhh the question of my life.
This is what I do now, to broaden my vision and see the preciousness of my life right now. Not in 2 years, 5 years or 10 years. But right now.
I look at the the state of my life right now, over the last few months. I look at my daily routine, my responsibilities, the things I do, the time I have. I then write down a list of all the opportunities I have right now, with my life exactly as it is. What can I do right now, that I may not be able to do under different circumstances?
Using myself as an example – right now, I am on the road to residency. I am not working yet. I have flexibility. Though I do have to arrange various work related experiences for myself, I do have the luxury of flexibility. No one is paying me to be anywhere. When I start working, my time will be limited. I ask myself – what are the opportunities I have right now?
I could travel, without much planning, without requesting vacation days.
I can enjoy every moment of my day with my daughter at my side. We can do everything together.
I can dedicate myself to writing, and to making youtube videos. I could begin to approach my blog and my youtube with professionalism and responsibility. Like it were my job, and see where I can grow it to.
I can exercise and get my body and my health into the best state it’s ever been in.
I can deepen my meditation practice.
I can have another baby
I can find joy in the pursuit of medicine, and focus on building my knowledge – which will make me a better doctor to my patients.
I can nurture my friendships.
I can make new friends who have similar interests to me.
I can enjoy wearing mom jeans and converse and slouchy hoodies, and dye my hair green, and just generally enjoy dressing casually – without any sort of dress code that would indicate my professionalism.
This is not a list of things I have to do, but these are a list of things I could do.
I urge you to look at your life too, exactly as it is, and find the opportunities you have right now. Look at the ones that speak most to your heart, and take great, courageous action in that direction! Just one step is all you need to slip into the flow of your life. Then just keep riding the wave!