Reya stepped on Gautham’s head while he was laying down and an argument ensued. Gautham tried to talk to her but she was too upset. He left the room and Reya was crying. I went over to her and we talked. Here are some parts of that conversation.
Reya: *Crying* Daddy is angry at me and he was so rude to me! Me: I saw that. How did it make you feel? Reya: It made me sooo sad 😭 Me: Why do you think daddy acted that way? Reya: I don’t wanna talk about that part. (*lol I love her honesty) Me: I think we need to talk about all the parts but we can do after some time has passed.
Minutes later, when she was ready to talk about that part;
I initially planned to write this blog post after my first week. It’s been 3 months now, and I am1 day away from my c-section and the birth of our little boy! I wanted to put this out there before I have a new story to tell 🙂
I finally sit down to tell you a story that has been central to my life for the last 6 years. I’ve been wanting to share this with you since March, but morning sickness had other plans for me.
In March, I found out that I matched into an Internal Medicine residency program in Baltimore, Maryland. It was been a surreal, glorious and almost overwhelming day and I took a good long nap to find some kind of balance in it.
What this means for those unfamiliar with the process, is that I have been accepted into a 3 year internal medicine training program that begins THIS MONTH! This is something I have been working towards since I graduated medical school 5 years ago. It is something that I, for some unknown reason, never felt worthy of. It’s something that has taken countless detours to get too – detours that forced me to find peace with the unique timing and purpose of my life. It is something that was once a hope, once a dream, once a wish, and now is finally real. Match day to me, represented the culmination of years of persistence and overcoming of so many limitations I had placed around myself.
My mind excitedly jumps to the next steps in joyful anticipation for what is to come. But I gently pull myself back to this moment. To remind myself that life is now. Here is now. And it is worthwhile to sit in the great aligned effort and energy that brought me to this moment.
Birthdays have always been my favourite day of the year. It’s a celebration of life, and it’s a reminder of how fleeting and precious all of this is. Birthdays used to come at the end of a slow walk around the sun. Now I leap and run and cartwheel and fly. Life gets faster. But it also gets better.
Hello! I’m back, after a 2 month hiatus. I have lots of interesting articles lined up to share over the next few weeks. Today I wanted to start with an intentional living topic. I have a page in Notion called “This works” where I collect a list of small changes and ideas that have had a big impact in my daily life. I thought I’d share them with you today!
✨ Spend 10 minutes a day doing a digital declutter for 30 days. Then keep up as required.
✨ Approach your job like it’s your hobby, and your hobby like it’s your job.
✨ Make one low-waste swap every month.
✨ Listen to/watch videos on 2x speed (when the purpose is to extract information.)
✨ Embrace the reverse sleep-in (especially for parents) and go to bed really early.
✨ 10 minutes HIIT on the treadmill (1 minute sprinting, 1 minute walking)
My husband does this hilarious impression of me. He pretends we’re in the middle of a really tough work-out, and in the middle of the struggle, he, as me, pauses and says “I am not a woman. I am not a human being, I am a FORCE of LIFE. The power of the universe runs through my veins. Come on let’s do the next set!”
It cracks me up.
I don’t actually do this (okay maybe I have once) but it is a subject that I’ve talked about with him a few times.
I noticed there are certain moments when I feel as though I break through the some of the very normal constraints of being a human being in this physical body, and somehow access a different dimension of myself.
I think of my self containing a physical body, an emotional body and an energetic body. Most of the time I dwell in my physical and emotional body. On the rare occasion, I activate my energetic body – and when this happens – this is what I describe as the feeling of transcending from a person to a force of life.
Time spent in this state are powerful periods of creation. Things just happen, everything flows, and concepts are brought to life.
There are three activities that I have identified that makes me feel this way;
Wowowowow. Hold up. It’s not even Christmas yet, not even Thanksgiving, and I’m already talking about New Years Eve
Well, if you’ve been here a while you must know by now that New Years is my absolute favourite! And my preparations for it begin in late November, so yes, we do have to talk about it now.
Here are some of my annual rituals that create that New Year magic!
Declutter & donate
From the beginning of December, I begin my annual declutter. Creating physical space in my home brings a sense of lightness that I crave in the new year.
What can I let go of this year? How can I live a little lighter? In the past I have done this room by room, but this year I will try working through Marie Kondo’s categories of clothes, books, paper, komono, & sentimental.
I also pay particular attention to my digital clutter. For me, digital clutter is more overwhelming than physical clutter! My Evernote overflows with notes upon notes of my thoughts and musings. However, I have learned that even spending a quick 10-15 minutes a day organizing my laptop, documents, photos, and Evernote, makes a big difference!
This parenting experience I am having is truly fascinating. I’ve spend the last almost 3 years building this brand new relationship with a brand new human being, and yet, I’m the one who feels brand new.
My daughter invites me to examine life more closely. To experience simple things with more depth and intention. To see so much of myself mirrored in another person. Everything has become a giant question mark, and life is more exciting this way.
Reya is almost 3. And there is a lot going on at almost 3. I’m just trying to keep up.
My very best parenting lessons come when I pay attention.
One day, I was paying attention, and I noticed that whenever Reya does something that I do not like or approve of, my go-to phrase is “That isn’t very nice, Reya.” or something of that variety.
You may or may not know that I am currently in the midst of applying for Internal Medicine residency in the US. It’s been a long journey to get to this point – it is an important story that I look forward to telling you very soon.
As of right now, I’m in the middle of it, and I will say that I feel really good about where I am. I am happy and excited; not out of optimism, or even out of belief that I will match and reach my goal, but just genuinely glad to be here. Enjoying the process, and finding joy in the steps along the way. It is refreshing to live my life from this perspective, and it is new for me.
I thought it was interesting that despite not yet having attained my goal (of being accepted into a residency program) everything feels like it is unfolding beautifully, and I feel pleasant and at peace.
I realized that this was perhaps the first time in my life that I not only created a vision for how I wanted something to look (in this example, my career), but for the last 2 years I have been consistently taking aligned action. Every single thing I did reinforced my vision.
I hypothesize that simply the act of spending a length of time moving in one direction creates the ideal conditions for transformation of self and life.
So then I thought – hmm, what about other areas of my life that feel stagnant or meh or are not looking at all the way I want it to?