9 ways we create hell & how to create heaven instead

Things happen in life. I take those things and process them in a certain way within me.

When some things happen, I create an atmosphere of pleasantness and ease within. When other things happen, I create unpleasantness and unease within. I have the power to create heaven or I can create hell.

I have been seeking a way to live where it doesn’t matter what happens to me, because I am an expert at keeping my internal environment as pleasant and peaceful as I desire.

Here are some ways that we create hell within, and some ways we can open the doors to heaven instead.

Hell is being obsessed with what other people think of us.

Heaven is;

  • Realizing that people project their own experiences.
  • It is not personal.

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Q&A: Chosen family, motherhood, living an ordinary life, free will & karma

Happy June full moon, readers! Today I answer some of the thought-provoking questions you submitted over the last month.

Greetings! I’m trans (ftm) and my family have basically disowned me ever since I came out. Struggling with feeling abandoned by my family. How do I move on from this kind of betrayal from the people who are supposed to love me no matter what?

I am so sorry you are going through this pain.

If your family disown you, then you certainly earn the right to choose your family. Your chosen family will be the people who show up for you every day. Not because of biology, obligation or societal expectations, but because they simply want to. In that way – you have the opportunity to create the truest version of “family.”

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How to stay consistent with your goals

On the first of January, I set myself a whole bunch of goals to achieve, as I have done many Januaries that have passed. Usually, by February, life settles back to how it has always been, and I settle back into who I have always been. I then live my life in a state of transit, waiting for the next chance to begin again.

It is the 6th month of 2020, and somehow, I am still on track. This is newfound territory for me.

This year, I did things a little different.

At the start of every month, I set myself goals that I want to achieve by the end of it. At the end of every month, I look back, reflect and tally up how I’ve done. I’ve done this consistently for 5 months now. I stuck with it, and that is no small thing, not for me. I’ve notoriously been an “all or nothing” kind of person.

I have not achieved every goal I set out to do. Let’s say I set myself 100 small goals between January to now. I have probably achieved about 70 of them. But…that’s still 70 steps in the right direction. That is momentum. That is a huge success!

Retrospectively, if I had not set myself these targets, and was just left to my own devices, I would have probably achieved around 15-20 of them haphazardly. The difference is monumental.

Today, I’m looking at what worked. What I did differently that made me DO differently this time around? Here’s what is working for me:

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Life lessons I learned in 30 years

Long time readers of my blog will know that every year, I collect a list of reflections and lessons that life is teaching me.

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Tips for taking your meditation practice to the next level

My spiritual practice is not glamorous. It can seem mystical and enchanting from the outside. But once you get into it, once you do it every day, it becomes mundane.

It’s like brushing your teeth. It isn’t particularly exciting to do, but you realize the importance of it, and your day just wouldn’t feel quite right without it.

One thing I often remind myself is that consistency and a steady focus is important if you want to get anywhere in life. If you start digging for water in one spot, after some time, you will get there. But often what happens is that we dig for a few hours, and then think “Hmm that spot over there looks better” and run over there and start over. After some time has passed, we decide we need better digging tools. Or we see a friend who seems to be making great progress in their spot with their tools and technique so we rush over to see if we can try it too. With all these changes in direction, we will never get to our water. Well, we might, but it will take a very long time.

You don’t need to change worry about changing the tools you have. The only thing we need to concern ourselves with is deepening desire for it.

Everything else – the teacher, the tools, the technique – will fall into place. At least, that has been my experience.

If you feel like your meditation practice has become a little stagnant, then I have some tips for you.

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Honouring my child’s inner wisdom – Perspective for conscious parents

The traditional structure of parenting has been where where a parent imparts their knowledge, wisdom, advice, instructions, expectations and sometimes even their demands onto the child.

That child then has two options – obey or rebel.

If the child obeys, he/she is a good son/daughter and wins the love and respect of the parent.

If the child rebels – the relationship is challenged. Life becomes difficult for the parent and the child in different ways.

Before I became a mother, I knew that this method of child rearing was not what felt right to me. Now that I am in fully immersed in parenting my little 2 year old, I think a lot about what kind of parent I am to her.

One thing I know for sure is that parenting is a two way street. I have an important and valuable learned wisdom to share with Reya, and she has an important and valuable innate wisdom share with me. I don’t subscribe to the belief that one is superior to the other. They both have it’s place in the parent-child relationship and in life.

Yes, she is new to life but so am I.

The day my daughter was born, a mother was born too.

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Do you have a question for me?

Thank you for your question!

If you have spent any length of time reading my blog, you will know that my blog posts tend to be rather in depth and verbose. I usually go deep into one topic per post.

I’m interested in trying something a little different for an upcoming blog post. I’d like to talk about a few different topics in one place. And I’d like to talk about the things that matter most to you and your life. Kind of like a rapid fire Q&A.

I thought the best way to do this would be to offer you a chance to ask an anonymous question in the question box above. It can be a question that relates to your personal life or it can be a more of a general/universal topic that you’d like me to touch on. I’ve done this a few times on instagram – here are some examples of questions people have asked:

  • How to achieve peace of mind?
  • How to be a peaceful parent?
  • How to restart meditation when you are out of practice?
  • Your thoughts on self love?
  • How can I support a friend who has gone through stillbirth?

I can’t promise that I have all the answers (in fact, I can promise you that I don’t!) but I’d love to share my thoughts on whatever is on your mind.

I’ll answer a few of them in an upcoming blog post (that’s if I get any responses at all eek!)

Till then,

Malavika

3 Spiritual tools to find harmony in stressful times

I have been contemplating what would be most helpful to write about during this time of adjusting to our new normal. I decided to share with you some simple practices (other than daily meditation/kriya) that I keep in my emotional and spiritual wellness toolkit that have always serve to anchor me during all seasons of life, and especially this one. Here are 3.

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Finding peace amidst the Coronavirus Pandemic (For the privileged)

Wow. Times are a’changing, aren’t they, my friends? I, like many of us, have spent most of March being swept up in these turbulent times, and it has taken it’s toll.

Seeking joy is not a wrong thing to do, especially in times like these – but I personally only feel okay doing it after I check and acknowledge my privilege. So let’s start with that:

The fact is – if we are able to find the silver lining in this global health crisis, we are privileged.

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My self care rituals

Today I want to share with you the rituals of self care that I use to nourish and replenish myself.

Over the last year, I have noticed that I am consistently more joyful and more at peace than I have been in a long time. It is a joy that has been carved out, worked for and earned, and because of that, I know that it cannot be taken away from me without my permission.

Many things contributed to this replenishing of my inner wellbeing, but one of the main factors was my steady devotion to the quiet things that fill my cup.

I began to schedule and commit to my joy as I would to any other obligation I had. I show up for it. I am punctual. I am prepared. I hold myself responsible and accountable for my state of being.

To me, self-care is about uncovering the delight of this brief life. It serves to connect me with full self, and then, most importantly – in allows me to extend that connection to the world.

Here are my practices;

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