Reya had her first ice skating lesson last week. It’s something I’ve been meaning to enroll her in for a while now. We’ve been skating together a few times, and she always looked so happy doing it, so I knew she would be delighted.
I also knew that being new at something is hard, so we discussed a few key concepts in the days before the class.
💫 We can be really bad at something the first time we try it.
Reya stepped on Gautham’s head while he was laying down and an argument ensued. Gautham tried to talk to her but she was too upset. He left the room and Reya was crying. I went over to her and we talked. Here are some parts of that conversation.
Reya: *Crying* Daddy is angry at me and he was so rude to me! Me: I saw that. How did it make you feel? Reya: It made me sooo sad 😭 Me: Why do you think daddy acted that way? Reya: I don’t wanna talk about that part. (*lol I love her honesty) Me: I think we need to talk about all the parts but we can do after some time has passed.
Minutes later, when she was ready to talk about that part;
I initially planned to write this blog post after my first week. It’s been 3 months now, and I am1 day away from my c-section and the birth of our little boy! I wanted to put this out there before I have a new story to tell 🙂
Birthdays have always been my favourite day of the year. It’s a celebration of life, and it’s a reminder of how fleeting and precious all of this is. Birthdays used to come at the end of a slow walk around the sun. Now I leap and run and cartwheel and fly. Life gets faster. But it also gets better.
You cannot become the person you want to be when you are focused on the behaviour of another person
Why did they do that/say that?
I wonder what they meant by that?
Why did they use that tone with me? They must be upset/angry/sad with me etc.
What do they think of me?
What are they thinking about the situation?
When I find myself in a situation where I am tangled up in a web of worry and restlessness based on one of these thoughts- I remind myself that what I am doing is focusing on the behaviour and thoughts of another person. These are two things that I have no control over, and quite frankly, is not my business.
When you focus on another persons behaviour, a couple things happen.
Firstly, you spend a lot of time, energy and emotions on something you cannot control. It’s needless emotional labour, and it tires you out.
Secondly, you forfeit your opportunity to be the person you want to be.
As soon as I notice I am feeling anxious about something, I ask myself “is this about the behaviour/thoughts of another person?” If yes, I step out of my stories, and ask myself “Who do I want to be in this situation? And what can I do/say/act that is in accordance with that?”
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If you have spent any length of time reading my blog, you will know that my blog posts tend to be rather in depth and verbose. I usually go deep into one topic per post.
I’m interested in trying something a little different for an upcoming blog post. I’d like to talk about a few different topics in one place. And I’d like to talk about the things that matter most to you and your life. Kind of like a rapid fire Q&A.
I thought the best way to do this would be to offer you a chance to ask an anonymous question in the question box above. It can be a question that relates to your personal life or it can be a more of a general/universal topic that you’d like me to touch on. I’ve done this a few times on instagram – here are some examples of questions people have asked:
How to achieve peace of mind?
How to be a peaceful parent?
How to restart meditation when you are out of practice?
Your thoughts on self love?
How can I support a friend who has gone through stillbirth?
I can’t promise that I have all the answers (in fact, I can promise you that I don’t!) but I’d love to share my thoughts on whatever is on your mind.
I’ll answer a few of them in an upcoming blog post (that’s if I get any responses at all eek!)
You may recall that in 2018, I wrote a blog post on the topic of falling behind in life. This seemed to have struck a chord with a lot of you, and I received many e-mails and messages from readers who shared their own struggles with the timing of their life. This article also happens to be one of my personal favourites from my blog, and one that I too go back to from time to time.
This has been a theme of my life since I graduated from med school in 2016 and found that my life took a different turn to my peers. It was a topic that filled me with dread in the pit of my stomach, accompanied with this incessant feeling of unworthiness. It was paralyzing and I just couldn’t do anything about it.
But you know what? I did. I did do something about it.
Today, I don’t feel the way I did a couple years ago. My life is still not where I thought it would be, and while it is much closer, I just love where it is right now. I love what has been and what is to come; and I love living life on the brink of both.
It took a great deal of daily practiced courage to change how I felt in and about my life. And I felt compelled to revisit this topic today and share with you some of the things that have helped me feel more secure in how my life is unfolding.
A recurring lesson in my life. I never quite got it right. There are so many instances of my life that I look back on and think “If only I had done XYZ back then, but I didn’t”
Now, I don’t subscribe to the belief of “If only I had done XYZ back then, then I would be happier/life would be better” – because we just don’t have enough information to draw that conclusion. Life would be different, yes. but better? That is still undetermined. I am a woman who is committed to the path I am on, it is true and it is perfect for me and the lessons that move my heart the most. Life is designed that way.
There is a sometimes sense of missed opportunities. Of moments that have passed, that maybe if I had taken the right action, during what I now realize was the right time – then life would have landed me in a different space right now.
Hindsight is always 20/20. Present moment vision is something that must be cultivated, and involves a great deal of discipline, trust, courage and intuition. Present moment vision allows us to take the right action at the right time – because we see all. We see this moment for what it is, what it can be, and we move towards our potential.
Today I want to discuss how to face and overcome the traumatic experiences in our life. Life is hard. We all get served up experiences that can really rock us at our core, and is varied and unique for everybody. My question is, how do you go through these devastating and life altering situations and still continue to put one foot in front of the other, and still live with joy in your heart.