How to have a good day

My body gives me great feedback on my state of being, and I try to pay attention. How swiftly I fall asleep at night lets me know how at peace I am with my life. How happily I wake up in the morning, tells me how much joy I have in my heart. When I notice changes in how my body functions, I know it is time to make some tweaks in my day to help grow happy things.

I’ve been thinking about what it means to have a good day. And while I have a lot of good days, sometimes on the days I wake up feeling apathetic about the day ahead – I wonder, why? What can I do to have a good day?

It isn’t often that we have a day full of only wonderful things, or a day full of only awful things. We tend to get a mix of both, along with some neutral tasks and events too.

I consider my “work” of the day to not be only to get through my daily to-do list, but to make each thing I have to do into the most wonderful thing it can be.

Here are some ways I do that:

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How do you transform yourself and your life?

Friends, I know I had promised to share my thoughts on conscious relationships this Friday – but I have been quite scattered this last week and couldn’t find the time to write it. So instead, I share with you something I had sitting in my drafts for some time. I know a couple of you were looking forward to that post and I am sorry it isn’t ready yet. It will be soon! 


We all know someone who completely transformed themselves – leaving almost no trace of their old self behind. Maybe it was a friend, maybe it was a friend of a friend of a friend.

We most often see these kinds of transformations on the physical level. It could be a person, who you know has spent their whole life struggling with their weight, and always putting themselves on new diets and work out plans – but always seems to remain the same. Until one day, something just clicks, and everything changes. Not only do they transform their physical body, but they transform their life too. Who are they are changes. And when you are with them again, they just feel different, somehow.

So you you get curious. You want to know what their nutrition plan is, or what kind of work outs they’re doing. And then you try these things too, following along closely like they’ve handed you a recipe for a new self that you too have been craving. And perhaps you do lose a few pounds, or maybe you don’t at all. And you think to yourself “I just don’t get it. why don’t I see the changes that they did?”

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Q&A: Chosen family, motherhood, living an ordinary life, free will & karma

Happy June full moon, readers! Today I answer some of the thought-provoking questions you submitted over the last month.

Greetings! I’m trans (ftm) and my family have basically disowned me ever since I came out. Struggling with feeling abandoned by my family. How do I move on from this kind of betrayal from the people who are supposed to love me no matter what?

I am so sorry you are going through this pain.

If your family disown you, then you certainly earn the right to choose your family. Your chosen family will be the people who show up for you every day. Not because of biology, obligation or societal expectations, but because they simply want to. In that way – you have the opportunity to create the truest version of “family.”

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How to stay consistent with your goals

On the first of January, I set myself a whole bunch of goals to achieve, as I have done many Januaries that have passed. Usually, by February, life settles back to how it has always been, and I settle back into who I have always been. I then live my life in a state of transit, waiting for the next chance to begin again.

It is the 6th month of 2020, and somehow, I am still on track. This is newfound territory for me.

This year, I did things a little different.

At the start of every month, I set myself goals that I want to achieve by the end of it. At the end of every month, I look back, reflect and tally up how I’ve done. I’ve done this consistently for 5 months now. I stuck with it, and that is no small thing, not for me. I’ve notoriously been an “all or nothing” kind of person.

I have not achieved every goal I set out to do. Let’s say I set myself 100 small goals between January to now. I have probably achieved about 70 of them. But…that’s still 70 steps in the right direction. That is momentum. That is a huge success!

Retrospectively, if I had not set myself these targets, and was just left to my own devices, I would have probably achieved around 15-20 of them haphazardly. The difference is monumental.

Today, I’m looking at what worked. What I did differently that made me DO differently this time around? Here’s what is working for me:

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Finding peace amidst the Coronavirus Pandemic (For the privileged)

Wow. Times are a’changing, aren’t they, my friends? I, like many of us, have spent most of March being swept up in these turbulent times, and it has taken it’s toll.

Seeking joy is not a wrong thing to do, especially in times like these – but I personally only feel okay doing it after I check and acknowledge my privilege. So let’s start with that:

The fact is – if we are able to find the silver lining in this global health crisis, we are privileged.

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My self care rituals

Today I want to share with you the rituals of self care that I use to nourish and replenish myself.

Over the last year, I have noticed that I am consistently more joyful and more at peace than I have been in a long time. It is a joy that has been carved out, worked for and earned, and because of that, I know that it cannot be taken away from me without my permission.

Many things contributed to this replenishing of my inner wellbeing, but one of the main factors was my steady devotion to the quiet things that fill my cup.

I began to schedule and commit to my joy as I would to any other obligation I had. I show up for it. I am punctual. I am prepared. I hold myself responsible and accountable for my state of being.

To me, self-care is about uncovering the delight of this brief life. It serves to connect me with full self, and then, most importantly – in allows me to extend that connection to the world.

Here are my practices;

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How to make time for everything

Hello hello! This year, I’ve decided to commit to sharing a new blog post with you on the full moon + new moon of every month. So, each month when you look out the window and see the glowing moon in the night sky, and perhaps you even feel a surge of that mystical lunar energy rise up within you – head over to my blog and you will find something from me, written with the intent to nourish your mind & soul.

I’m also really enjoying creating on instagram stories at the moment. I like to share little snippets of my day to day life, but also like to reflect on a topic every week centered around spirituality, intentional living, and conscious motherhood. If you’re on instagram, I’d love to connect with you there.

Now onto the blog post!

A few weeks ago, I was chatting with a girl on Instagram who, like me, is also on the road to residency in the US. She kindly complimented me on my ability to juggle many things at once. Medicine, motherhood, spirituality, writing and now, youtube too.

I was taken aback by what she said – because the areas of my life that she considers to be my success, I so often feel inadequate in. It astonished me, the differences in how I perceive myself in comparison to how someone else perceives me. And maybe the truth of who I am sits somewhere in the middle of both of these extremes. It got me thinking, that while I do tend to be quick to dismiss myself, the reality is that yes, I do juggle a lot. Yes, I do work hard to do the things that are important to me, and though I may not be able to do everything to the level of my satisfaction, and though I may feel like I’m constantly failing at a lot of things, the fact that I try is worth something. And yes, maybe I do have something of value to say on this topic.

Certain things in life, like motherhood and medicine, tend to be all encompassing. Meaning that it’s almost impossible to compartmentalize these things into little blocks of time. It takes over everything. It’s a 24/7 direction of life.

It’s hard to imagine a life beyond these things sometimes, and it’s certainly even harder to make the time and space for other in your day.

But heres the thing – we all have 24 hours in a day, and we decide how to spend it. Our time and our health is truly our greatest wealth, and it’s worthwhile to use what you have intentionally and on the things that matter most to you, otherwise you may get swept up in the flurry of a busy but unfulfilling life.

Since becoming a mother, the amount of “free time” has been cut exponentially, some days it feels like a mythical concept.

Before children, the majority of my time went to either school/work, and all that was remaining was my time. I could do with it, whatever I wished. I could  choose to be productive and build the life of my dreams or I could snuggle up in bed and watch Friends. After motherhood, all that remaining time outside of school/work goes automatically to my daughter. Like a direct deposit.

Without intentionally and purposefully carving out a little slice for yourself, you might never get it. Time is precious, and we have so little of it. The very least we can do is use what we do have.

Here are my thoughts on how to juggle it all.

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What to do when you’re falling behind in life

You may recall that in 2018, I wrote a blog post on the topic of falling behind in life. This seemed to have struck a chord with a lot of you, and I received many e-mails and messages from readers who shared their own struggles with the timing of their life. This article also happens to be one of my personal favourites from my blog, and one that I too go back to from time to time.

This has been a theme of my life since I graduated from med school in 2016 and found that my life took a different turn to my peers. It was a topic that filled me with dread in the pit of my stomach, accompanied with this incessant feeling of unworthiness. It was paralyzing and I just couldn’t do anything about it.

But you know what? I did. I did do something about it.

Today, I don’t feel the way I did a couple years ago. My life is still not where I thought it would be, and while it is much closer, I just love where it is right now. I love what has been and what is to come; and I love living life on the brink of both.

It took a great deal of daily practiced courage to change how I felt in and about my life. And I felt compelled to revisit this topic today and share with you some of the things that have helped me feel more secure in how my life is unfolding.

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Thoughts on finding the one

I have a juicy topic to discuss with you today. Marriage. Life-long commitments to love. Soulmates.

You may have noticed that I love love, and that I love my husband. I am romantic and I am a relationship oriented person. I learned many of my major life lessons through the relationships I’ve had – and though that is not everyone’s path, and perhaps not the path I would necessarily recommend, it has been my experience and I honour it as such. 

Many of you may also already know that I had an arranged marriage. I believe I have a valuable perspective as a person who has had relationships and has ultimately had an arranged marriage. Picking your life partner, your ride or die is a very important decision. And it is something we have to do when we’re relatively young and don’t necessarily have the life experience, maturity or wisdom to pick a good one. We may not even have the skills we need to grow love, I know I certainly didn’t. It’s one of those things you learn while doing. It is the great work of love.

Here are some of my thoughts on finding the one.

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Why I want to tell the truth about Santa Claus

This is not Reya’s first Christmas, but it is the first Christmas that she has some awareness of. She refers to all the Christmas decorations in store fronts as “chrissy-mas mess” and is so delighted by it all. She knows about snow, and snowmen, and christmas trees. She hasn’t quite got to grips with Santa Claus, and this is something I’ve been thinking about for some time now. How do I feel about this? What the purpose in perpetuating this fantasy for my child? Is this lie worth it? What do my children gain from this?

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