I was first introduced to the world of self-development and personal growth when I was 16 years old. One of our family friends, who is like an older sister to me, gave me the book “The Secret” and told me to read it. I kept asking her what it was about, but she told me I would have to find out for myself.
And so I soaked in every page of that book into my mind and it showed me a different way of looking at life.
I have always been inclined to the mystical aspects of life, even as a young girl. I’ve always been a seeker, always philosophical, always a writer, but always unfocused.
I read “The Secret” and I knew I had the key to another dimension of life that I had never accessed before. The law of attraction – wow, is that for real?
Manifesting cups of coffee
And yes, it was very real! And I spent the next couple of years experimenting with it and manifesting free cups of coffee (what else is a 16 year old me to manifest?)
I don’t say this in jest. I do recall a particular afternoon where I walked into my local coffeeshop with the goal of manifesting my favourite drink to me. And sure enough, the barista came to my table by the window and said “We got an order wrong and I’ve made an extra caramel machiatto – would you like it?”
The universe cares about what kind of coffee I want?! The universe listens – I was sure of it.
I wish I could recall all the things I brought to life, and into my life – all the things I manifested. for there were many, some big, some small – and all of it was like magic to me. I not only believed in the law of attraction – I knew it to be absolutely true. And I couldn’t help but think – if only everyone just knew how to do this, we could have anything we wanted!
I spent my all my free time grazing through the self-help sections of bookstores, and saturating my mind with concepts centered around personal growth. It wasn’t long before I came across a new exercise that seemed to be widely practiced by the self-development community – positive affirmations.
I adopted that as my new “thing” to try. I started peppering my day with positive affirmations. In the morning when I woke up, before I went to school, in the shower, before bed, I would write some in my diary. I heard a little bit about “visualization” too, and so I started doing guided visualization meditations every night where I would see myself in beautiful flowery meadows and climbing up and down staircases, talking to my spirit guides etc.
A change of heart and a new direction
Over the next few years, as “new age spirituality” became more trendy and popularized, I couldn’t help but feel differently about these little practices I was following. I knew for sure that I wanted to live in a way that has deep appreciation for the magical and subtle aspects of life, but I couldn’t help but find the premise of new-age spirituality to be rather self indulgent. There was so much focus on just feeling good about yourself and life, but does that really make you good? And what is good anyway?
I also must admit that I found aspects of this “positive thinking” to be insidiously delusional – building up only a lofty idea of myself. But I want truth. Not to feel good about myself. I want truth.
I am sure the very concept of spirituality for many is, by its very nature a little fluffy and woo woo. But that wasn’t the spirituality I was interested in. I wanted something concrete and real and truthfully, I wasn’t sure if I could find that in spirituality. I’m a scientist at heart. And I am not one to believe something because it sounds whimsical and pleasant. I need proof. I need to know that it works. I don’t want to waste my time. I don’t want to believe, I want to know.
And so I abandoned many of my positive affirmations, my daydreamy visualization meditations, and law of attraction practices. I stopped manifesting cups of coffee.
I set forth in search for something different. My lessons in spirituality definitely took some dark turns, where I experimented and adopted “beliefs” that I no longer believe in, and I no longer believe serve my highest purpose or the world. Many of these lessons are still here, on my blog, if you search back far enough. I constantly wrestle with wanting to delete them because I find them just so wrong now, but I remind myself that it was also part of my journey, and just as I went through that to get to where I am now, maybe someone else will also use that as a stepping block. And who knows if one day I will look at where I am right now in terms of understanding and shudder. Probably.
“GROWTH!” I tell myself. And onwards.
So is mastering the LOA worth it now?
Anyways, this post is not intended to breakdown popularized spirituality. One thing I have learned in life is that it is better to share what works instead what does not. So let me tell you what works for me now.
As the years have passed, I am 28 now. I’ve unearthed a lot about life and myself in the last few years, with still a lot more to go. And in some ways, I feel like life has come full circle and I find myself back where I started – but these days I revisit visualization and affirmations in a slightly different way.
Visualization works. Affirmations work. The law of attraction works. But in my experiences I have come to understand there is more to it than making a vision board of magazine cutouts of an island in the Bahamas + telling myself I am smart and beautiful when I look in the mirror in the morning, which is what I used to do.
It is a powerful and potent practice, that when done with a certain level of awareness, can be used to completely change and revolutionize your life.
In my next post, I’ll share with you what works for me when it comes to using the law of attraction on a day to day basis, along with a step by step guide for a powerful visualization process I do daily.
I would love to know – have you experienced the law of attraction at play in your life?
Till next time, friends.
Nice build up!
Lmao! I got to leave you wanting more!
Just kidding. It was just waaaay too long of a blog post with everything in one.
I first got into the Law of Attraction after reading The Secret in 2010 (had heard a bit about it before then) and have been interested in it ever since. I believe that it does work, but I haven’t manifested “big” things so much, or seen the miraculous changes in my life that some people have. I know that you can set intentions and they will manifest, and you draw things into your life but I sometimes hit a “wall”.
Also I try to “raise my vinration” but struggle with that sometimes due to having anxiety and depression. At the moment I’m working on feeling better and have just stated a new anxiety course. Looking forward to your next post! 🙂
*raise my vibration, I mean!
Hmmm thank you for sharing, and I get what you mean about hitting a wall. I feel that way sometimes too – for me, it’s more like a glass ceiling; where I can see the top, but I just can’t get there. The practice that I follow, that I’ll share in the next post, works really well for me, and it might work for you too!
Whenever I hit a wall I find that two things really help 1. a shift in perspective and 2. A deepening of my spiritual practice. Sometimes walls or invisible ceilings exist because of our karma (I don’t know if you believe in this). I believe that our karma is often what determines the parameters of our life, how far we can go, and how fast or slow we get there. Some people have to take the stairs to get to the 100th floor, some people take an elevator. Have you noticed this in your life before? My explanation for this is – karma. A force that we don’t really get to see or understand a lot of the time. Deepening my spiritual practice burns through a lot of karma, and I find that the walls and ceilings become easier to break.
Sending you gentle hugs. Anxiety can be so hard and paralysing. And I’m so glad you are taking the steps to feel better. Sending you so much love. xo
Hi Malavika, thanks for your reply. I’m not sure how much I believe in karma but I have noticed what you mention- certain things seem to come easily to some people but not to others. There will be some things that come to me easier than they do to other people. Karma would explain why that happens.
Look forward to reading about your practice and thanks for the love and hugs! <3 xo
Yes. But the hard part is understanding where the growth is taking me…and what I actually desire…
Hmm, such a good point – and actually a dilemma that I always had too. What do I “try to manifest” when I don’t know what I want?
And what really is the PURPOSE of this law? How does it really serve me in my spiritual evolution, being able to create things in the material world? These are my questions. And part of why I abandoned the LOA for many years.
I try to address some of my questions like this that I had (and perhaps others have too) when it comes to using the LOA in my upcoming post.
Oh yes! The age-old practice of manifesting free coffee! I remember when I was first starting to get into really using LOA after a video workshop by Denise Duffield-Thomas. In that month alone, I manifested a new job that fit my criteria, numerous cups of coffee, and the support of a new community. It was INSANE.
To me, the best part of the woo-woo is understanding that feeling good is its own superpower. Still, I’m glad I’m not the only one who understands that in order to really utilize it, you have to stay grounded just as much as you indulge in the dreamy aspects of it. A little skepticism is healthy and keeps us curious, which is the most important part.
Great post! xoxo
So cool to hear your experiences with manifesting! I feel like stories like this – really help solidify the concept of the LOA into something real and tangible.
And absolutely – feeling good is a superpower – in the sense that it instantly elevates us. I am totally in agreement about the grounded vs dreamy aspects of it too. I guess it depends on what you want out of life. For me – I’m chasing something more than cups of coffee, and collecting things that I can manifest in the material world. It sounds like you are too. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your experience and thoughts on this!
“Chasing something more than cups of coffee…” what a beautiful way to phrase it.
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