9 ways we create hell & how to create heaven instead

Things happen in life. I take those things and process them in a certain way within me.

When some things happen, I create an atmosphere of pleasantness and ease within. When other things happen, I create unpleasantness and unease within. I have the power to create heaven or I can create hell.

I have been seeking a way to live where it doesn’t matter what happens to me, because I am an expert at keeping my internal environment as pleasant and peaceful as I desire.

Here are some ways that we create hell within, and some ways we can open the doors to heaven instead.

Hell is being obsessed with what other people think of us.

Heaven is;

  • Realizing that people project their own experiences.
  • It is not personal.

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How to have a good day

My body gives me great feedback on my state of being, and I try to pay attention. How swiftly I fall asleep at night lets me know how at peace I am with my life. How happily I wake up in the morning, tells me how much joy I have in my heart. When I notice changes in how my body functions, I know it is time to make some tweaks in my day to help grow happy things.

I’ve been thinking about what it means to have a good day. And while I have a lot of good days, sometimes on the days I wake up feeling apathetic about the day ahead – I wonder, why? What can I do to have a good day?

It isn’t often that we have a day full of only wonderful things, or a day full of only awful things. We tend to get a mix of both, along with some neutral tasks and events too.

I consider my “work” of the day to not be only to get through my daily to-do list, but to make each thing I have to do into the most wonderful thing it can be.

Here are some ways I do that:

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How do you transform yourself and your life?

Friends, I know I had promised to share my thoughts on conscious relationships this Friday – but I have been quite scattered this last week and couldn’t find the time to write it. So instead, I share with you something I had sitting in my drafts for some time. I know a couple of you were looking forward to that post and I am sorry it isn’t ready yet. It will be soon! 


We all know someone who completely transformed themselves – leaving almost no trace of their old self behind. Maybe it was a friend, maybe it was a friend of a friend of a friend.

We most often see these kinds of transformations on the physical level. It could be a person, who you know has spent their whole life struggling with their weight, and always putting themselves on new diets and work out plans – but always seems to remain the same. Until one day, something just clicks, and everything changes. Not only do they transform their physical body, but they transform their life too. Who are they are changes. And when you are with them again, they just feel different, somehow.

So you you get curious. You want to know what their nutrition plan is, or what kind of work outs they’re doing. And then you try these things too, following along closely like they’ve handed you a recipe for a new self that you too have been craving. And perhaps you do lose a few pounds, or maybe you don’t at all. And you think to yourself “I just don’t get it. why don’t I see the changes that they did?”

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Life lessons I learned in 30 years

Long time readers of my blog will know that every year, I collect a list of reflections and lessons that life is teaching me.

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Honouring my child’s inner wisdom – Perspective for conscious parents

The traditional structure of parenting has been where where a parent imparts their knowledge, wisdom, advice, instructions, expectations and sometimes even their demands onto the child.

That child then has two options – obey or rebel.

If the child obeys, he/she is a good son/daughter and wins the love and respect of the parent.

If the child rebels – the relationship is challenged. Life becomes difficult for the parent and the child in different ways.

Before I became a mother, I knew that this method of child rearing was not what felt right to me. Now that I am in fully immersed in parenting my little 2 year old, I think a lot about what kind of parent I am to her.

One thing I know for sure is that parenting is a two way street. I have an important and valuable learned wisdom to share with Reya, and she has an important and valuable innate wisdom share with me. I don’t subscribe to the belief that one is superior to the other. They both have it’s place in the parent-child relationship and in life.

Yes, she is new to life but so am I.

The day my daughter was born, a mother was born too.

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Do you have a question for me?

Thank you for your question!

If you have spent any length of time reading my blog, you will know that my blog posts tend to be rather in depth and verbose. I usually go deep into one topic per post.

I’m interested in trying something a little different for an upcoming blog post. I’d like to talk about a few different topics in one place. And I’d like to talk about the things that matter most to you and your life. Kind of like a rapid fire Q&A.

I thought the best way to do this would be to offer you a chance to ask an anonymous question in the question box above. It can be a question that relates to your personal life or it can be a more of a general/universal topic that you’d like me to touch on. I’ve done this a few times on instagram – here are some examples of questions people have asked:

  • How to achieve peace of mind?
  • How to be a peaceful parent?
  • How to restart meditation when you are out of practice?
  • Your thoughts on self love?
  • How can I support a friend who has gone through stillbirth?

I can’t promise that I have all the answers (in fact, I can promise you that I don’t!) but I’d love to share my thoughts on whatever is on your mind.

I’ll answer a few of them in an upcoming blog post (that’s if I get any responses at all eek!)

Till then,

Malavika

The lists I make to stay organized (& Happy)

Since becoming a mother, I have really stepped up my organization systems. I had no choice! I’ve said this multiple times on this blog but – being organized allows me to do two things;

  1. Consistently and steadily meet my family’s needs.
  2. Consistently and steadily meet my own needs.

I have a collection of lists that I refer to on daily/weekly basis that really helped me stay on top of things. These lists remind me of next steps to take without having to think too much about it, and they also help to capture important information.

I thought I’d share some of the lists I make and how I use them with little glimpses on a few items from each of my lists too! If you get a little kick out of organizing things like I do, you might enjoy this!

The apps I use are: Evernote & Notion mostly. Google Docs and Google Keep come in handy too!

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3 Spiritual tools to find harmony in stressful times

I have been contemplating what would be most helpful to write about during this time of adjusting to our new normal. I decided to share with you some simple practices (other than daily meditation/kriya) that I keep in my emotional and spiritual wellness toolkit that have always serve to anchor me during all seasons of life, and especially this one. Here are 3.

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My self care rituals

Today I want to share with you the rituals of self care that I use to nourish and replenish myself.

Over the last year, I have noticed that I am consistently more joyful and more at peace than I have been in a long time. It is a joy that has been carved out, worked for and earned, and because of that, I know that it cannot be taken away from me without my permission.

Many things contributed to this replenishing of my inner wellbeing, but one of the main factors was my steady devotion to the quiet things that fill my cup.

I began to schedule and commit to my joy as I would to any other obligation I had. I show up for it. I am punctual. I am prepared. I hold myself responsible and accountable for my state of being.

To me, self-care is about uncovering the delight of this brief life. It serves to connect me with full self, and then, most importantly – in allows me to extend that connection to the world.

Here are my practices;

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What to do when you’re falling behind in life

You may recall that in 2018, I wrote a blog post on the topic of falling behind in life. This seemed to have struck a chord with a lot of you, and I received many e-mails and messages from readers who shared their own struggles with the timing of their life. This article also happens to be one of my personal favourites from my blog, and one that I too go back to from time to time.

This has been a theme of my life since I graduated from med school in 2016 and found that my life took a different turn to my peers. It was a topic that filled me with dread in the pit of my stomach, accompanied with this incessant feeling of unworthiness. It was paralyzing and I just couldn’t do anything about it.

But you know what? I did. I did do something about it.

Today, I don’t feel the way I did a couple years ago. My life is still not where I thought it would be, and while it is much closer, I just love where it is right now. I love what has been and what is to come; and I love living life on the brink of both.

It took a great deal of daily practiced courage to change how I felt in and about my life. And I felt compelled to revisit this topic today and share with you some of the things that have helped me feel more secure in how my life is unfolding.

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