Tag: relationships

How to create a blueprint for conflict: a map back to love

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A relationship is a wonderful tool for your spiritual growth.

How you as a couple respond to conflict can tell you a lot about a relationship.

You can be in a partnership where every conflict pushes you further and further apart, or you can be in a relationship where every conflict brings greater intimacy and opportunities to get free.

And for the spiritual seeker getting free is the most important thing.

In the heat of conflict, it is very difficult to remain conscious. Most of us get swept up in our triggers, our stories, our opinions, our unhealed trauma.

I have learned that what we fight about is not as important as how we fight. I’ve learned that if you put your attention on fighting better, the topics that come up also tend to soften.

It is all part of learning to love another human being, and yourself.

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Simple daily relationship practices to grow love

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My posting schedule has become a little erratic. After 3 months working from home at my parents house in BC, we moved back to Minnesota where I’m involved in a few research projects. I’m still finding my groove here. Reya is back at daycare. My husband and I largely work from home but I do go into the hospital on days where I have patients to enroll or meetings to attend.

I am applying for Internal Medicine residency later this year. It’s sort of a pinnacle moment of my life; something I’ve worked towards for the last few years, and I’ve battled a lot of inner demons to get to this place. The application process is extensive, and along with working and spending time with my husband and Reya, I don’t have a lot of free time at the moment. It’s something I need to prioritize over the next few months, so while I will continue to post consistently on here, the interval between posts may be a little longer.

That being said – today I want to talk about relationships and the little ways we can steadily show up to do the work of love. Here are some simple practices that grow love and connection between my husband and I during this busy season of life.

Make their happiness your priority

Every morning, I ask my husband 2 questions.

“What is one thing you could do today that would make you feel productive?”

This is usually one of his most important tasks of the day. The needle mover. Things like “Finish the brief I’m working on / this chapter / this draft / start my online course etc”

Followed by;

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Thoughts on finding the one

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I have a juicy topic to discuss with you today. Marriage. Life-long commitments to love. Soulmates.

You may have noticed that I love love, and that I love my husband. I am romantic and I am a relationship oriented person. I learned many of my major life lessons through the relationships I’ve had – and though that is not everyone’s path, and perhaps not the path I would necessarily recommend, it has been my experience and I honour it as such. 

Many of you may also already know that I had an arranged marriage. I believe I have a valuable perspective as a person who has had relationships and has ultimately had an arranged marriage. Picking your life partner, your ride or die is a very important decision. And it is something we have to do when we’re relatively young and don’t necessarily have the life experience, maturity or wisdom to pick a good one. We may not even have the skills we need to grow love, I know I certainly didn’t. It’s one of those things you learn while doing. It is the great work of love.

Here are some of my thoughts on finding the one.

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It’s not you, it’s me

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One of the most notorious phrases in the language of broken hearts.

So cliched. So cringe.

So faux-compassionate.

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How we transformed our marriage

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Note: I had been wanting to share some photographs from our wedding day 2 years ago, but for some reason never got around to it. So I have included them in this post 🙂 The photographs bring me back to such a wonderful day in my life, and I hope you enjoy them. 

WFA Malavika final-75

I have something to tell you. My marriage is blossoming.

It is so full of love. And joy.

It feels like a flower that is in bloom in the summer. The season is right. The atmosphere is right. The flower grows and blooms and it is beautiful. I don’t need to do anything, I only need to admire its grace.

But it wasn’t always like this. There were a lot of bumps in the beginning.

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Valentines Day

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People like us,

we don’t need that much

just someone who starts,

starts the fire in the our

bonfire heart.

–  Bonfire Heart by James Blunt

We couldn’t do much to celebrate our anniversary in December because literally everything made me nauseated. I wanted to share a post with you all on our anniversary dedicated to my husband, and here it is now – better late than never.

Usually for valentines day, I prefer to make a small, hand made gift for my love. But this year, I went all out. This is what not having a job will do to you. I literally dedicated my entire day (and some) to making his valentines day experience. I sent some of these photos to my sister in law and she said “Omg, this is so extra.” and I thought – yes, this is absolutely, unmistakably “extra”.

(She also introduced me to this word a few weeks ago. She keeps us cool.)

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Why relationships should be right before they are good

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We tend to believe that we should have a good relationship with everyone in our life. But have you found that this is almost impossible? Even if you feel totally good about them, they might start to hate you for something eventually. Or vice versa.
This is why I believe that it is more important for a relationship to be right, than for it to be “good”. And as it often happens, things that are right in life, usually turn out to be good after all.
So what do I mean by a relationship being “right” and “good”?

7 types of relationships: throat, third-eye and crown couples.

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According to the Vedas there are 7 types of relationships that we can experience in our lives. These 7 categories of relationships achieve a certain type of harmony between two people that correspond to our 7 chakra centers: your root center, sacral chakra, solar plexus, heart center, throat chakra, brow chakra (third eye center), and crown chakra.

You can read a brief description of how chakras affect our motives to create harmony in relationships in my first post on The Root Chakra Couple here.

I will be doing a short series of blog posts regarding these 7 energy centers, and the kinds of relationships that tend to emerge from these influences.

Today we will discuss the throat centered couple, the third eye centered couple and the crown chakra couple. These are the three highest level relationships and are usually quite rare to come across.

This concludes are series on the 7 types of harmony found in relationships according to the vedas. I hope you enjoyed it 🙂

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7 types of relationships: The Heart Centered Couple

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According to the Vedas there are 7 types of relationships that we can experience in our lives. These 7 categories of relationships achieve a certain type of harmony between two people that correspond to our 7 chakra centers: your root center, sacral chakra, solar plexus, heart center, throat chakra, brow chakra (third eye center), and crown chakra.

You can read a brief description of how chakras affect our motives to create harmony in relationships in my first post on The Root Chakra Couple here.

I will be doing a short series of blog posts regarding these 7 energy centers, and the kinds of relationships that tend to emerge from these influences.

Today we will discuss the Heart Centered couple.

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7 types of relationships: the solar plexus couple

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According to the Vedas there are 7 types of relationships that we can experience in our lives. These 7 categories of relationships achieve a certain type of harmony between two people that correspond to our 7 chakra centers: your root center, sacral chakra, solar plexus, heart center, throat chakra, brow chakra (third eye center), and crown chakra.

You can read a brief description of how chakras affect our motives to create harmony in relationships in my first post on The Root Chakra Couple here.

I will be doing a short series of blog posts regarding these 7 energy centers, and the kinds of relationships that tend to emerge from these influences.

Today we will discuss the Solar Plexus  Couple.

Continue reading “7 types of relationships: the solar plexus couple”