Life lessons from a 29 year old

A selfie on my 29th birthday!

On April 22nd, I turned 29. I think that of all the “holidays”, I love birthdays the most. I feel grateful to have had another year of life, with the promise of one ahead. Aging is a gift. The greatest wealth we have is our time and our health. And we’re not here for very long. Even the longest life, is pretty darn short.

Throughout the year, I write down all the lessons, reflections and realizations I have in various aspects of my life. I have shared these with you over the past few years – 25, 27, 28.

I hope you enjoy reading through these reflections, perhaps with a nice hot cup of coffee or tea, because it’s a long one. My life is always so rich with growth lessons, especially this last year. The lessons I’ve learned this year have been centered around facing my fears, failure, mystical experiences, shame, ambition, and mastery.

Enjoy 🙂

You cannot ask for cooperation without connection first.

Sooner doesn’t necessarily mean better.

“Health is the crown on the well persons head, that only the sick can see.”

If you want the test to be easy, your preparation must be hard.

The future comes one moment at a time.

When you are inspired by something you have read or encountered, make an effort to turn these ideas into action. Inspiration without action is just delusional and wasteful. The more you do, the more you want to do, the more internal confidence you generate, the more want to see more results.

Curate your life more than you curate your social media.

Change is always hard in the beginning, messy in the middle, gorgeous in the end – Robin Sharma.

The antidote to fear is action in the now.

It’s not whether or not you achieve your goal, it’s who you become on your way to your goal.

Success and failure are not two roads that sometimes interject, they are on the same road. Success is just further down the road.

Celebrate efforts. Enjoy results.

A tool to help you make better decisions in your life: tell “the story” of your situation in the 3d person. State only facts, and make no assumptions. The answer will be clear.

There are two ways you can live your life; Where what you do defines who you are. Or where who you are defines what you do.

You cannot tell someone to change. You cannot make someone change. You can only invite change.

Confidence comes from self-trust.

Stop saying “If I had done A, B and C instead of X, Y and Z, I would have been happier/more successful/better.” There’s no way we can know for sure if doing something else would have made us happier, or if it would have worked out better. In my experience, every situation in our life comes with its own unique gifts and challenges. This “if only I had…” type of thinking is a huge disservice to ourselves, because it puts our power in something that doesn’t exist. It leaves us powerless in our life now.

The thing you are most afraid to do, is the thing that is most valuable for you to do.

The more you face your fears, the more you find freedom, the more your confidence grows.

Take one full day every month to nourish yourself and fill your cup. Use the day to fill yourself with things that inspire you, and refuel you – mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

“Challenge your comfort and have an exhilarating day” – Laureen Block

Think about the first 5 words coming out of your mouth before you say it.

When faced with the aftermath of a mistake you made – take your medicine. And tell your truth.

The moment we try to change something about our life or ourself – we will be met with overwhelming discomfort. That discomfort will tell us to go back to the things we were doing before, to the ways we were used to being. And we will tell ourselves that “this just feels right” but really it just feels familiar.

Try to change. Every. Single. Day.

Doing the right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing.

When someone makes a mistake – lift them up in compassion. They are growing. They are learning.

When you find yourself being hypercritical of yourself, take the spotlight off yourself and pour it on someone else. Turn your attention away from yourself what your lack, to someone else and on serving and giving.

Consider everything that scares you as “bravery training” – Robin Sharma

You will never be criticized by someone who does more than you, only someone who does less.

I love the term “to raise a child” because to me, it means, to raise a human to the highest level they can be. And you cannot raise a child without first raising yourself.

Treat your job as you craft, your work of art.

Life responds to the quality of your character. As you rise, everything ascends with you.

Set masterful goals, not simply ambitious ones.

Every single problem you have has a gift and an opportunity buried within it. Identify it.

When it comes to having friends of the opposite sex outside of your marriage, never give another man your husband’s job or another woman your wife’s job.

My most regretful moments in my life are moments where I was not conscious of myself.

You can be a “spiritual person” and do some pretty awful things. Self awareness is more important than spirituality. Being a person who is awake and present to their own life and their own behaviours is more essential.

Correct and continue.

Be still and know. Don’t ask for permission. Don’t explain.

Are you aware of the same mistakes you make over and over again in your life? Are you aware of the patterns and lessons that show up time and time again in slightly different ways? Have you had enough of spinning around this karmic carousel? Your life is your teacher. Learn from it and start making different choices.

Don’t chase love. Chase life and love will come.

I have absolutely everything I need right now, to be my best and most evolved self.

Create more than you consume.

I’ve always been an all-or-nothing person – but perhaps there is value in being somewhere in the middle, slowly and consistently making progress. Transition from “all or none” to “all or small.” that way you’ll spend less of your life waiting, and more of your life inching forward.

Start where you are planted.

To stop having to constantly explaining yourself: consider not telling people every time you plan to do something or to not. Just do it or don’t do it. If you keep telling people your plans, you’ll also have to explain the outcomes, and you end up spending more time talking, less time becoming.

Start before you are ready.

The sequence of events we choose in our life eventually tie in together and make sense. The dots between seemingly minuscule, irrelevent or random events in our life eventually connect. There is a time in our life for making dots. There is a time in our life for connecting dots. Know which one you are in.

Your marriage is constantly evolving. You have a new marriage now, with the same person. Notice the gifts and opportunities it offers as it is right now, not how it used to be, or how you hope it may be.

Life is a game. When you know how to play, it’s fun. When you don’t, it’s very stressful.

Adore your detours: So you had a destination in mind and you picked a path to get there. Half way through the journey, you changed course. You took a detour. You took the scenic route. Decide to enjoy it. Stop and smell the flowers along the way, because this is the road you are on now and there is beauty here too.  This is the story of your life. Can you make peace with it? Because only once you have made peace with this, can you see all the gifts it has to offer.

You can only perform acts of good karma when you are in a state of love.

An animals life purpose is connected to the human they are with. Your fulfillment is their fulfillment. Your purpose is their purpose. They are loyal spirits with devoted hearts. They never leave their humans side, even after they have passed.

When we become too sensitive to others, we become easily offended and easily affected by other peoples opinions, moods, approval, disapproval, criticism, expectations, obligations, stress and responsibilities. In the process of being hypersensitive to others, we become numb to ourselves, and it becomes harder to recognize what it is that we truly want.

There is no place for shame in your life. You can regret something deeply, correct and continue. Live lightly and consciously.

The bigger than gap between what you say and what you do, the more chaotic life becomes. Because you’re managing two things – reality and your image of reality.

In order to be a truly wise person, you must practice what you preach. It takes a certain degree of self mastery to apply wisdom into our own life.

Shame can be used by cultures to bury what doesn’t make sense to them.

There is a moment in your day for everything. There is a moment to eat. A moment to write an e-mail. A moment for a hug. A moment to work. A moment to sip a drink. A moment to fold laundry. And there is only ever one thing you need to do in any moment.

Show, don’t say.

To learn how to stop judging people – start from afar. Practice releasing your judgements on absolute strangers. Then work your way to the people around you that you know. And finally to yourself.

Marry someone who wants spiritual mastery over themselves.

Life is not about them. Life is about me. It doesn’t matter how they are, that’s their choice. How I am, is mine.

The word Karma means action. We know it to be the consequences of our action, but karma is created, more profoundly, in the energy behind the action. It is the state of your mind. In that way, you can do nothing, and still build karma. If you do a good act, with a bad state of mind – negative karma builds. If you do a bad act, but with an elevated mind – good karma builds.

It’s easy to be “spiritual” when life is good, because you have the luxury of happiness. It’s easy to be spiritual when you have hit rock bottom, because you have no choice but up. But to truly transform yourself, you need it most during your day to day mundane life.

Each time you come into contact with an element in its pure form, treat it with a certain degree of reverence – Inner Engineering: A yogi’s guide to joy.

Learn to embrace the work that needs to be done to achieve your dreams and goals. Don’t see it as an obstacle that must be overcome. See it as a commitment you’ve made to yourself.

Visualization is a powerful and potent practice of creation.

Coming up with reasons why you can’t exercise takes more time than actually exercising.

Children are not half of an adult. They already are full people. And they deserve full respect, not half.

Childhood is not preparation for life; childhood is life. A child isn’t getting ready to live – a child is living. The child is constantly confronted with the nagging question “what are you going to be?” Courageous would be the younger who would say “I’m not going to be anything; I already am.” T Ripali

Mantra is sound. Sound is science. For a mantra to be effective, you must pronounce it exactly right. Otherwise, it’s just a song.

Intuition is a byproduct of spiritual development, it is not the end goal.

Unconscious action builds karma. Conscious action does not create karma.

We choose how we react internally. We choose how we respond externally. Let there be space between the two.

Wean yourself off waiting for a certain day, a monday, or the first of a new month, to have a fresh start. You can do this by giving yourself multiple fresh starts on a weekly (monday, wednesday, friday) , and eventually daily basis (Every day is a fresh start). You can even give yourself multiple fresh starts within a day.

Who I am, is not my personality.

Our personality is a socially constructed thing. It determines the ease of which we can function in society and in community. But our personality is a culmination of the past. It is based on events that have happened to us in the past that have created the story of “why we are the way we are.” If we were to live completely present in this moment – we would have no personality. Just presence.

Personality development is one thing, spirituality is another. Both are important, but don’t confuse the two. That being said, immersing yourself in your inner life will cause ripples in your personality.

“Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.”

You don’t get closure. You decide it’s closed.

Every time you betray your potential, you being to disrespect yourself. This generates a psychic pain that makes it difficult to feel at peace.

Low self worth results in apathy, and mediocrity.

Finish what you start. Practice this on a day to day basis with small things. Complete every task.

Done is better than perfect. Do not sacrifice good for perfect. In the search for perfection we avoid completing things. You have to complete things to a level of “just good” in order to learn from it and worth towards improvement and perfection.

Live in such a way that you don’t have to explain yourself.

Don’t rely on motivation to make you live your best life. Motivation is flimsy and fickle and comes and goes. Do what needs to be done despite how you feel. That’s how you build your drive for life. Action creates inspiration.

Don’t look for a new opportunity that is “the right fit”, look for one that is “the right stretch”

Fear and excitement are the same biological reaction, it’s just that your mind labels it as two different things. Next time you feel the “fear response” in your body, tell yourself “I’m excited” instead of “I’m scared.” – Mel Robins.


I’d love to know if there are any of my lessons that have stood out in particular for you and your life?

Love,

m

2 Comments

    1. Girl, you are welcome to write down whatever speaks to you and whatever is truth for you. That’s why I wanted to share this on my blog, so that maybe someone else can find inspiration in it too! Thank for the birthday wishes. And yeah, I get that a lot that I look young. I think it’s because i’m so short! People always mistake me for being my daughter’s sister and not her mother haha!

      Liked by 1 person

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