On April 22nd, I turned 29. I think that of all the “holidays”, I love birthdays the most. I feel grateful to have had another year of life, with the promise of one ahead. Aging is a gift. The greatest wealth we have is our time and our health. And we’re not here for very long. Even the longest life, is pretty darn short.
Throughout the year, I write down all the lessons, reflections and realizations I have in various aspects of my life. I have shared these with you over the past few years – 25, 27, 28.
I hope you enjoy reading through these reflections, perhaps with a nice hot cup of coffee or tea, because it’s a long one. My life is always so rich with growth lessons, especially this last year. The lessons I’ve learned this year have been centered around facing my fears, failure, mystical experiences, shame, ambition, and mastery.
It is April. My birthday month. And I am coming to a time of great reflection over the way my life has been so far, especially in the last year or so. Where the only word to describe life would have been….sdkofhisiodhfaliuohlsidhaifdsgajsbfaoaaksdnflsl. And not in a good way!
I was a very sad person for a long time. I felt like I was stuck on a merry-go-round, spinning uncontrollably round and round, and it was making me sick to my stomach, but I just couldn’t get off it.
My life was hanging low, hanging dark and deep for a long time. Like the mist that blankets a lake on a cold winters morning. But now the winter has lifted, and heaviness of my own breath is gone. A new sunlight glitters delicately where the shadows once slept.
It was not/is not an easy journey to take. And every step required some kind of internal strength that I didn’t know I had. I wanted to share with you my reflections during this time. And a few of the things I did, some of the steps I took, that helped me move forward in life. I hope they will be helpful for you. I will also post this post in a few instalments as it is quite long. Here is the first part.
To quote Grey’s Anatomy (the TV show), Meredith once says “Bones break. Organs burst. Flesh tears. We can sew the flesh, repair the damage, ease the pain. But when life breaks down, when we break down, there’s no science. No hard and fast rules. We just have to feel our way through.”
That’s what I feel like I’ve been doing this last year – feeling my way through.
This is a post I’ve been meaning to publish for a long time as it is a personal one for me. It’s something I am putting my focus on at this point in my life. It’s all about developing a strong sense of self. When I think of a strong sense of self, I think of emotional maturity. I see it as a strong beam of light from within me – instead of a flickering flame. Over the course of a few posts I will explore 10 truths of having and maintaining a strong sense of self. In this post I want to describe each one briefly, and in the following ones I will go into some other ones in depth with specific things we can do to achieve them! Wow, haven’t I got so much fun lined up for you 😉
What we need to develop is a strong sense of self. A powerful inner strength that resounds from somewhere deep within you.