As I get older, I come to understand the value of my friendships more and more deeply – and I have been blessed abundantly when it comes to this area of my life. I have gathered quite a collection of my absolute favourite people all over the world, in all the cities I’ve lived in.
It also occurred to me that perhaps not all of my friends know how I feel about them, or how much they have impacted my life. And it’s important to me, that they do know.
Today I’d like to share with you a few different ways you can bring more love and intention into your friendships, nurture them, and watch them grow!
Friends for a season, friends for a reason
Each friendship serves a different purpose in life, but one thing that remains the same throughout them all is – they enrich our life. I choose to honour all my friendships regardless of which category they fall into. Sometimes it’s nice to acknowledge the friendship for the purpose it serves, and what it brings to your life, and what you bring to theirs.
Work through issues together
A strong lifelong friendships require commitment and dedication – just as romantic relationships do. You (probably) wouldn’t drift away from your husband/wife because he/she said something you didn’t like, understand or agree with, would you? You would most likely bring it up, and face it together. Similarly, even amongst friends, you may come across disagreements and bumps in the road, but knowing that both you and your friend are committed to healing, nourishing and nurturing your bond – can only bring you closer together.
My two best friends from high school and I refer to each other as “Friendwives” lol.
Let them know how much they mean to you
When was the last time you told your friends how much they mean to you? And no I don’t mean just implying it. When was the last time you used your words and said it?
The simplest and most effective way is to tell them face-to-face in person.
To make things a little bit more special – you could send them a letter, or a card and put your feelings into writing. I have loved using Paperless Post (sponsored) to create gorgeously designed, elegant and customizable cards to your loved ones. While I’ll always love to send and receive handwritten cards and letters, I love looking for more eco-friendly alternatives that are done tastefully and beautifully! As well as cards, they also provide stunning and classy online invitations for all occasions.
I love that they work with upscale brands like Kate Spade NY, Anthropologie and Rifle Paper Co (my personal favourite) – giving their e-vites and e-cards a much more luxurious feel to them. I’m definitely going to use their invitations for the next event we host!
I have enjoyed sending a few cards to my best friends, putting into words what their friendship means to me. You can do the same by asking yourself – how your friend has changed your life? What is your favourite thing about them? What is your favourite thing about your friendship? What drew you to them? What keeps you together? What do you love about them? How have they impacted you and the person you are today? What would you struggle to do without them? These are the kinds of things that are so affirming to hear as a friend. It makes a person feel seen and cherished.
Create “Friend days”
This idea stemmed from a question I often ask my husband and my friends – which is “What would be your perfect day?”
When they tell me what their ideal day would consist of, it occurred to me that so many of the items on the agenda are so sweet and simple – like “go to my favourite coffeeshop”, “go for a walk”, “eat my favourite meal” etc – that I thought to myself, maybe I could make this happen for them! Maybe I can create their perfect day as a gift to enjoy together. Why do we need to wait for a special occasion, like a birthday, to live out your perfect day?
We don’t need to!
We could have one right now, on a boring sunday! It could be your day.
And so friend days were born.
The most wonderful thing about friend days is that it does not have to happen on a special occasion. They can happen simply because your friend is special. The last friend day I created was for my friend Carol. It was “Carol’s day”. I created an online invitation, to invite her to her day. And I filled the day with what I thought would be her perfect day – a meditation together, a walk, a reading, time with Reya, deep conversation and dark chocolate, coffee at her favourite coffeeshop, and a pottery workshop in the evening. It was such a lovely day, and all of Carol’s favourite things happen to be my favourite things too (can you see why we are friends?). It was a happy day. And I loved honouring her.
So surprise your friend with a special day just for them – filled with things that they love. And I’d love to hear from you in the comments – what would be your perfect day?
My best friends are scattered all around the globe. It’s a good thing that technology makes the world so small these days. Because no matter how far away they are, they are just a message away. We have group chats, voice messages (when my hands are full of baby) and monthly video calls – that make us feel a little bit closer together. Having moved so much – I have come to realize that, living in the same city as you friend is a special occurrence, and it may not last forever – as in my case. Of course, the deepest friendships persist despite oceans and time zones, but nothing really compares to the era of life where you were just a 10 minute drive from each other – where you could walk home from school together, or meet up for coffee, or a movie, or have a sleepover. These are the things I miss most about certain friendships. But for now, there’s WhatsApp.
I hope you enjoyed this post, and I hope it inspires you to reach out to a friend to let them know how you feel about them. I’d also love to know
- What would be your perfect day?
- How do you nourish your best friendships?
All my love,
Great post-Malavika. My perfect day would be a day walking on the beach in the summertime in a nice one-piece bathing suit and a sarong. I have a few friends I call often from college. I also have a few other friends I see at events for a social group for individuals who all have mental illnesses that I’m a part of.
Thanks for sharing Ayesha. That sounds like a lovely day. Do you live near a beach?
The social group you are a part of sounds interesting too! Do you find that it has helped you being a part of a community?
Great post and awesome pictures.
Thanks for sharing.