How to find the strength to be happy


The quest for happiness is not a passive thing. It isn’t just something that just “happens” magically and by itself. People seem to think that the path to happiness is an easy journey. That all you have to do is repeat some positive affirmations every morning in front of the mirror, like “I deserve happiness!” and “My life is beautiful!” and your work is done. That now, you have achieved happiness for life. But, in order to feel a sustained sense of joy in your life, it takes psychic strength. This type of strength is different to any other kind of strength, and is hard to develop, and must be developed in a specific way and in a specific style. If we change all outer surroundings, environment and relationships in order to find our happiness, yet we still have weak psychic strength, we will not be able to be happy for long. The happiest people have strong, clear and bright minds. The happiest people possess psychic strength and intelligence of the soul.

Today I want to talk about how we can cultivate this psychic strength that we need in order to find our happiness.

The Vedas say that there are 3 types of happiness that can be achieved. Happiness in ignorance, passion, or benevolence.

Happiness in benevolence is the highest form of happiness. This is what we should strive for. Happiness in benevolence is bitter to start with, and ends sweetly. It is to say – you put in the work at the beginning, and reap the sweetness of it’s rewards later.

Happiness in passion appears to be sweet at first, but ends bitterly. This is a very common type of happiness that we as a society tend to aim for. We take what happiness we are given without putting in the work for it, and then suffer through the consequences when it begins to fade away. An example of this when two people fall in love and are very pleased about it. They don’t put any work into the relationship at this time because they don’t feel they need to, everything is working seamlessly and effortlessly. Then gradually as time passes, the hormones begin to fade away and the couple decides to separate because they don’t know how to deal with the incompatibility, they don’t know how to deal with how to live with a man, or how to live with a woman.

Happiness in ignorance is the lowest form of happiness and remains bitter throughout it’s entirety. Of course – the catch is that the person experiencing this, does not realize how unfavourable his situation really is. An example of this would be a person who is experiencing addiction in some form. They are not “happy” yet they have the false-sense of happiness because of their addiction.

We tend to have a basic idea of some of the changes we would like to make in our lifestyles in order to become happier, right? And yet, we have not done them yet, or done them effortlessly. And why is that?

Because our natural tendencies get in the way. They are forces that act in the opposite direction to happiness. For example, if you may want to have more peace and harmony in your home and family life, but if your natural tendency is to pick fights rather than drop them – you’re going to have a problem. You may want to wake up early and be super productive, but your natural tendency may be to sleep late and give minimal effort. You may want to want to organize and clean your space, but your natural tendency is to be messy and dirty.

Be aware of your natural tendencies. Most importantly, understand that you cannot overcome your natural tendencies through reason or theorizing alone. Understanding that “I understand I should wake up earlier because it will make me happier, yet I also realize that my natural tendency is to sleep in late. This means I need to try really, really hard to wake up earlier.” is not going to help you much. Well done for identifying the problem, but this won’t make you start waking up earlier. This will always keep you in the “trying really really hard” phase of making changing.

What will allow you to overcome these tendencies is personal development, and learning how to cultivate the strength of your soul. We’ll get to that.

You know, the path to happiness requires constant battle against the forces that try to pull you back into unhappiness. These forces will act on you every day, especially initially. We will undergo an internal battle to feel happiness. So don’t be hard on yourself if you find that one day you’re doing great and you’re totally on track, and the next day you are not. That is to be expected. What we need to learn is how to win these private battles, one small personal victory at a time.

These forces show up as your natural tendencies. Our tendency to want to sleep in late. Our tendency to want to eat food that is not good for our body. Our tendency to want to be stronger or better than our loved ones – to pick fights with them, etc. It will also manifest in bigger ways, such as obstacles, set-backs and challenges in life.

We must understand that it was not the fact that we didn’t know positive affirmations or say positive affirmations every day that made us unhappy. What made us unhappy was our lifestyles, our belief system, our giving into the forces that bring us into unhappiness.

Happiness must come from you – we hear that a lot but what does it actually mean? It means YOU must do the work. It means that if you are not happy, YOU haven’t done the work for it. YOU must do the work.

How to build psychic strength for happiness:

Here are four things you can do:

1. Wish everyone happiness.

When you start wishing everyone happiness you start receive the highest form of psychic energy. Practicing this reorients your rational mind towards service and love. When you start to wish others happiness, the ones you love begin to get stronger and happier, and so will you.

2. Ask the universe for this strength.

During meditation ask the universe to give you all the strength and love you need to bring happiness to others. When you do this, your higher chakra centers will open, allowing more energy and strength to enter your body, and you will be able to carry this strength into your day to day life and quest for happiness.

3. Develop discipline by practicing a daily regime.

The daily regime means eating at the right time, reorienting your diet, waking up before 6:00am etc. When you can practice the daily regime you begin to develop discipline. The strength of will that it takes you to wake up at 6:00am (when you don’t “have to”) will be transferred into the strength that you need to achieve happiness. The strength of will that it takes you to maintain this discipline in your life will be transferred into the strength that you need to achieve happiness.

4. Purify your consciousness.

Another thing you can do to build your psychic strength for happiness is to purify your consciousness. This is a really big topic so I won’t go into too much detail. Purifying your consciousness means working on becoming a better person. It requires slowly identifying and getting rid of any negative qualities you have – such as anger, jealousy, greed, pride etc. It also requires slowly building up the good qualities such as love, peace, harmony, optimism, caring, the ability not to argue, humility etc.


So there you have it, a little philosophizing for your Wednesday afternoon. I hope you are having a lovely one.



  1. Your posts are always so insightful. I really appreciate them and I am always excited to learn what new lessons/ideas you have to teach!

  2. I really like this Malavika! It actually made me realize that I have to work on my mental strength a lot. Thank you for opening up my eyes and mind.

  3. I have never commented on any of your posts yet and today I felt it was really necessary. This article is so articulately and intelligently written. And not just this article. I have never been disappointed with any of your posts and it truly is a joy to be following your blog. Currently your post on the difference between mental and physical fatigue/tiredness is my home page (I spend so much time using my computer that I find many ways to try to remind myself to continue a happy lifestyle –> i.e. choosing a fun bright yellow background, making my passwords happiness goals, and bookmarking/making pages my homepage if that is what I’m working on for the month.) I am obsessed with The Happiness Project (the book and the blog!) and many of these resource + your posts have really changed my life. 🙂

    1. Adee,
      Thank you very much for your sweet comment. I am happy that you can find some assurance and support in some of the posts on this blog. I really wish you much happiness in the future. Keep in touch. And please, consider me your friend.

  4. Since our biological clocks are attuned to the rising and setting of the sun, it is obviously better to awake an hour before sunrise in perfect synchronization to the natural clock i.e between five & six in the morning. An ideal time to let the body cells soak in the strength of a tempered sun to be charged for the day. It increases the life span of an individual and helps maintain the equilibrium of doshas in once body. Drinking a glass of Luke-warm water helps flush out all toxins accumulated overnight in the body.

  5. Your posts are always so ensightfully-written (I think I made that word up just for you). I’m wondering, what are some of the most profound pieces/books/articles you’ve read yourself?

    1. Hi Tara,

      I’m really glad you find something of value in this blog. That’s the whole point of it, I guess.

      I feel like I won’t be able to give you a good answer for this question because, while I used to read a lot, lately I have not at all! I’ve read a lot of the “big name, best sellers”, you know, deepak chopra, eckhart tolle etc. And while at the time I enjoyed reading them, I don’t think I would recommend them. My understanding of spirituality and the way in which I pursue it has changed over the years quite significantly.

      The last book I read was “Living with the Himalayan masters” by Swami Rama and I loved it. I think this is the direction I plan to go for the time being – reading about the lives and teachings of saints and yogis. They have some truly profound teachings that I contemplate for days, apply it to my own life, and find a way to share it with others on my blog.

      This is a terrible answer! Let me think about this for some time. I think because, like I previously mentioned that my understanding of spirituality and the way I pursue it has changed, I still haven’t quite found the books that I need to read to maintain this. I think that’s why I don’t have a good answer for you yet. When I know, I certainly will let you know.

      Thank you so much for commenting! Let me know if you have any other questions….I will attempt to answer them better than I have here, haha!

Leave a Reply