Continue reading “Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful”
Tag: life
Your Life’s Work: a discourse on Dharma
When I turned 18, I got two tattoos, one on each wrist. Both in Hindi script, one wrist- Karma, and the other- Dharma. It is only now, a few years later, that I am beginning to comprehend the weight of these words. What were once just spiritual aesthetic words, now hold so much meaning and serve as a reminder of the two guiding principles of my life.
In the last couple of years I have learned some powerful lessons on Karma. And now my lessons in Dharma begin.
Dharma means your sacred duty, inspired action, the work of your life, your blessed talents. Living at the center of your dharma means to live in a way that is aligned with your sacred duty. It is the act of living in alignment with your true calling in life.
Recently, the concept of Dharma has become very important to me. It was something I have not contemplated deeply before, but now I am filled with an inner yearning to plant my feet firmly in the earth of my life, to stand tall and live from the center of my divine order. To live a life saturated in my dharma, my purpose.
My friend Arlene gifted me with an extraordinary book; The Great Work of your life by Stephen Cope. She did not know that questions of my own quest for my dharma had been swimming in my own mind for some time now. The book she gave me helped answer questions and bought clarity to the hazy cloud of dharma that had been hanging low in my thoughts.
I share with you the notes of my research, my findings, my lessons, my spiritual to-do list. If this is a topic that interests you, I would recommend reading the book by Stephen Cope as a good introduction to getting acquainted with your life’s work.
The blessings of a birthday girl
(I was supposed to post this on my birthday, but I didn’t.)
My heart
The Colours of Summer
These were the colours of my summer. 
My first ever blushing pink peonies. I love these flowers so much.
Chakras: 7 year development life-cycles
Click into the image to see it bigger.
This is a table of human development of the chakras. I did not invent this table, you can find it here (the original text is in russian but you could put it into google translator if you are not russian speaking). The table was designed to gives a graphic illustration of the seven year cycle of human development according to the Vedic Treaties Chakravidya. The table shows the ideal progression of an individual, but of course, we should also take into account the specific characteristics of each individual in particular. However, the general principles are outlined as follows:
According to this philosophy, our life moves in 7 year cycles corresponding with each of the 7 chakra centers located in our light body. We have one dominant chakra for each cycle, corresponding to each row of the table. In the first 7 years of life (age 1-7) we are influenced by the root chakra, from ages 8-14; the sacral chakra, from 15-21; the solar plexus, and so on and so forth.
Within these 7 year cycles we also climb another 7-chakra ladder (corresponding to the top row of chakras on our table and the columns they represent) which takes us from The Root chakra to the Crown Chakra. These influences affect us (ideally) on a yearly basis. Every cycle begins with fear (the root chakra) and every cycle ends with spirituality (the crown chakra).
After completing a 7 year cycle, we enter the first stage of our second year cycle. This is our Crisis Year since the first year of a new cycle is under the influence of the Root Chakra: Fear.
Another noteworthy occasion is when we are under the influence of 2 of the same chakra centers – this is indicated by the gray boxes in the table. These are the years that that particular chakra is most dominant in your life.
Each chakra in this table is represented by these key themes associated with each energy center:
The Root Chakra: Fear
The Sacral Chakra: Feelings
The Solar Plexus: Proactivity
The Heart Chakra: Harmony
The Throat Chakra: Philosophy
The Third Eye Chakra: Wisdom
The Crown Chakra: Spirituality
Year 1-7 The Root Chakra: Fear
1 year (fear+fear): Survival. The one year old child is motivated by the root chakra in both dimensions. Since the root chakra is primarily the survival-instinct chakra, these little people are motivated by fear and their only goal at this age is to simply survive.
The quiet life
Today, I turned 22
To quote Grey’s Anatomy (the TV show), Meredith once says “Bones break. Organs burst. Flesh tears. We can sew the flesh, repair the damage, ease the pain. But when life breaks down, when we break down, there’s no science. No hard and fast rules. We just have to feel our way through.”
That’s what I feel like I’ve been doing this last year – feeling my way through.
How to live a beautiful life
A photo essay: My life in Ireland
I still remember my first day in Ireland like it was yesterday. I remember getting off the little airplane at the Galway airport and looking around suspiciously. So, this was home now.
I didn’t really want to move to Ireland. I wanted to stay in Canada, because everything was predictable in Canada. I knew exactly what I could expect. Family, study, work – everything would progress on a steady and stable incline.
Applying to my medicine program was also very last minute too. I reluctantly sent off my application literally only days before the deadline. When I received my acceptance letter for the medicine program I was sad.
But I moved to Ireland. I moved to Ireland where everything was confusing, and suddenly the independence and freedom I had been looking for – seemed almost too overwhelming.
My top 3 completely irrational thoughts
There’s nothing like a little bit of self-exploration on a Monday afternoon. Join me.
You know what is my number one cause of pain? When I am in denial of reality. And you know what only serves to perpetuate my denial of how things are? Irrational thoughts.
What I am learning now is how easy it is to get swept up by a tide of irrational thoughts. And irrational thoughts are all sticky and gooey, and as soon as you have one, you can be sure that another will shortly follow.
And before you know it you are totally disconnected with reality, and basing all future life decisions on the conception of just one little thought – which by the way is totally unreasonable, illogical and just plain silyness..
It’s like one of those moments that we think “Hey, today I am have a particularly and spectacularly lousy day and feeling all kinds of sorry for myself – why don’t I contemplate some major life decisions?”
NO. DON’T DO IT. Do a jigsaw puzzle instead. Or watch MTV.
Here are some of my top three completely irrational thoughts. Let’s break it down.
1. “To be happy, I must be liked by all people by all times.”
If there is one way to set yourself up for failure, this is the one. This one has got to go. My sense of self-worth is something I have worked too hard on to let it be under the control of other people. I once read the quote “What other people think of you is none of your business.” Well, I can really empathize with why this is often easier said than done; because we are all people pleasers to some extent. It doesn’t feel good when someone doesn’t like you, or something you do – no matter who this person is. It could be your mom or it could be someone who randomly approaches you on the street an says “Hey, you suck!”
But should I let that “not feeling good”-ness infect my life, and make me change my decisions, or the way I want to live it? No. I don’t want to be a push-over. I think my life deserves to be lived with a little more purpose than that.
Let’s face it, life is hard enough as it is – with a overabundant supply of of difficult decisions, responsibilities, roles, options and challenges that we have to face – without the help of this irrational thought.
If we could say what we were really thinking, the conversation may go something like this.
Me: Hi. Today I am sad.
You: Why are you sad?
Me: Because I must be liked by all people by all times, and right now, this is not the case. So I am sad and confused.
You: WTF!
I am coming to learn that as soon as you stand up for something you believe in, or commit to living your life in any certain way that is true for you, there will always be someone who disagrees, who wants to fight it or who is envious. I think this is just reality. There will always be people who love you and accept you and your decisions, and there will be people who don’t -and their reason for this may be stemming from their own irrational thoughts about life and themselves. Ultimately, what matters more is my opinion on my life – rather than someone else’s.
How to pwn this irrational thought: Do what makes you happy. Think for yourself. Hold your own counsel. Make your own decisions. Listen to your own opinion and conscience about yourself. Take a deep breath, and go for it!
2. “When somebody disagrees with me, I need to take it personally, because it is about ME.”
I had mentioned before that something I have learned this last year is to become very suspicious of myself when I find myself taking a very strong opinion on any matter. The more that I educate myself about the world, the more that I see how big the world really is. When you educate yourself on a certain subject of interest – you will learn enough to realize that you just can’t have an opinion on anything.
Not a strong one anyway.
A strong opinion means a strong ego, and as soon as my ego gets involved, I know it’s just a matter of time before it gets hurt.
When people get too involved in a discussion or debate, it is clear that they are fighting for themselves, not for the truth. I am fighting to make myself feel heard, understood and accepted.
When someone disagrees, they disagree with an idea, not with you. Big deal, right? If I say to somebody “Hey, did you know that light travels faster than sound?” and they said “No. You are wrong. Sound travels faster than light.” I’m not going to cry about it. I don’t need to take it personally. I didn’t invent the speed of sound of the speed of light. They aren’t my children. I can show them a text book that illustrates “my truth”, and then let it be. In the end, everyone will make their own conclusions, and it really has nothing to do with me.
And if someone attacks you and your soul, well, they don’t seem like the kind of person I want to spend my time with.
I know how hard it is to separate our ideas with ourselves, but I think it is an important skill for me to learn.
How to pwn this irrational thought: Reconsider your “strong opinions”. Stop fighting for “the truth”. Instead just “be” the truth. Don’t take it personally when someone disagrees with you – acknowledge their point of view and move on.
3. “Because things are hard now, they will be this hard forever”
You know you’re riding the great wave of irrationality when you start using words like “FOREVER” and “ALWAYS” and “NEVER”.
The first attribute of life is that it changes. Everything changes. Once upon a time there were single celled organisms and now there are people walking around with iPads and stuff. Emotionally, we mature. How you think today is probably not how you were thinking when you were 16 (I hope not!). Life circumstances change too. One day you were living at home with your parents, and now you’re out on your own, creating a life for yourself.
We have ups and downs; deep struggles and sweet rewards. Nothing very good or very bad lasts very long. Everything is very fleeting. Bad days are not bottomless, and neither are the good days. Our challenge is to find the balance between these two fluxes.
It’s easy to have a bad day and affirm that this is how it is going to be forever.
When we fall in love, we enter what people call “the honey moon period” which in it’s name itself suggests that it is fleeting and temporary. We may even be given polite warnings that this period probably won’t last forever – and that’s fine. it’s reality. We accept this advice with the love it’s given.
But who is there to tell us when the bad days roll in that, this too is temporary? That things change. And that things will be easier if you focus on that. That a bad day does not determine a bad life. That the struggles you are encountering now are going to be very different to the ones you will be encountering a year from now.
How to pwn this irrational thought: Observe yourself when you use statements with the words “never”, “always”, “forever”. Take everything one day at a time. The only kind of courage you need in times of struggle is the kind of courage that gets you from this moment to the next moment. Live through bad moments with grace.
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So there you have it. My three most totally, inexcusably irrational thoughts. I’m working hard to kick their asses, because we have to ask ourselves – do we really have time for these thoughts and belief systems in our busy lives? And each of these thoughts do only one thing – make things harder on us.
I hope you guys enjoy yourself a nice self-exploration Monday! What are your most irrational thoughts?