You cannot become the person you want to be when you are focused on the behaviour of another person
Why did they do that/say that?
I wonder what they meant by that?
Why did they use that tone with me? They must be upset/angry/sad with me etc.
What do they think of me?
What are they thinking about the situation?
When I find myself in a situation where I am tangled up in a web of worry and restlessness based on one of these thoughts- I remind myself that what I am doing is focusing on the behaviour and thoughts of another person. These are two things that I have no control over, and quite frankly, is not my business.
When you focus on another persons behaviour, a couple things happen.
Firstly, you spend a lot of time, energy and emotions on something you cannot control. It’s needless emotional labour, and it tires you out.
Secondly, you forfeit your opportunity to be the person you want to be.
As soon as I notice I am feeling anxious about something, I ask myself “is this about the behaviour/thoughts of another person?” If yes, I step out of my stories, and ask myself “Who do I want to be in this situation? And what can I do/say/act that is in accordance with that?”
Friends, I know I had promised to share my thoughts on conscious relationships this Friday – but I have been quite scattered this last week and couldn’t find the time to write it. So instead, I share with you something I had sitting in my drafts for some time. I know a couple of you were looking forward to that post and I am sorry it isn’t ready yet. It will be soon!
We all know someone who completely transformed themselves – leaving almost no trace of their old self behind. Maybe it was a friend, maybe it was a friend of a friend of a friend.
We most often see these kinds of transformations on the physical level. It could be a person, who you know has spent their whole life struggling with their weight, and always putting themselves on new diets and work out plans – but always seems to remain the same. Until one day, something just clicks, and everything changes. Not only do they transform their physical body, but they transform their life too. Who are they are changes. And when you are with them again, they just feel different, somehow.
So you you get curious. You want to know what their nutrition plan is, or what kind of work outs they’re doing. And then you try these things too, following along closely like they’ve handed you a recipe for a new self that you too have been craving. And perhaps you do lose a few pounds, or maybe you don’t at all. And you think to yourself “I just don’t get it. why don’t I see the changes that they did?”
I’d like to share my latest video with you today – an introspective Q&A where I touch on various topics like inspiration, forgiveness and handling life changes. I invite you to answer some of these questions yourself if you feel like it, and share what you feel comfortable sharing. I’d love for us to get to know each other better! I tag all of my wonderful readers. Do share a link of your blog post if you decide to respond that way.