I finally sit down to tell you a story that has been central to my life for the last 6 years. I’ve been wanting to share this with you since March, but morning sickness had other plans for me.
In March, I found out that I matched into an Internal Medicine residency program in Baltimore, Maryland. It was been a surreal, glorious and almost overwhelming day and I took a good long nap to find some kind of balance in it.
What this means for those unfamiliar with the process, is that I have been accepted into a 3 year internal medicine training program that begins THIS MONTH! This is something I have been working towards since I graduated medical school 5 years ago. It is something that I, for some unknown reason, never felt worthy of. It’s something that has taken countless detours to get too – detours that forced me to find peace with the unique timing and purpose of my life. It is something that was once a hope, once a dream, once a wish, and now is finally real. Match day to me, represented the culmination of years of persistence and overcoming of so many limitations I had placed around myself.
My mind excitedly jumps to the next steps in joyful anticipation for what is to come. But I gently pull myself back to this moment. To remind myself that life is now. Here is now. And it is worthwhile to sit in the great aligned effort and energy that brought me to this moment.
You may or may not know that I am currently in the midst of applying for Internal Medicine residency in the US. It’s been a long journey to get to this point – it is an important story that I look forward to telling you very soon.
As of right now, I’m in the middle of it, and I will say that I feel really good about where I am. I am happy and excited; not out of optimism, or even out of belief that I will match and reach my goal, but just genuinely glad to be here. Enjoying the process, and finding joy in the steps along the way. It is refreshing to live my life from this perspective, and it is new for me.
I thought it was interesting that despite not yet having attained my goal (of being accepted into a residency program) everything feels like it is unfolding beautifully, and I feel pleasant and at peace.
I realized that this was perhaps the first time in my life that I not only created a vision for how I wanted something to look (in this example, my career), but for the last 2 years I have been consistently taking aligned action. Every single thing I did reinforced my vision.
I hypothesize that simply the act of spending a length of time moving in one direction creates the ideal conditions for transformation of self and life.
So then I thought – hmm, what about other areas of my life that feel stagnant or meh or are not looking at all the way I want it to?
My body gives me great feedback on my state of being, and I try to pay attention. How swiftly I fall asleep at night lets me know how at peace I am with my life. How happily I wake up in the morning, tells me how much joy I have in my heart. When I notice changes in how my body functions, I know it is time to make some tweaks in my day to help grow happy things.
I’ve been thinking about what it means to have a good day. And while I have a lot of good days, sometimes on the days I wake up feeling apathetic about the day ahead – I wonder, why? What can I do to have a good day?
It isn’t often that we have a day full of only wonderful things, or a day full of only awful things. We tend to get a mix of both, along with some neutral tasks and events too.
I consider my “work” of the day to not be only to get through my daily to-do list, but to make each thing I have to do into the most wonderful thing it can be.
Since becoming a mother, I have really stepped up my organization systems. I had no choice! I’ve said this multiple times on this blog but – being organized allows me to do two things;
Consistently and steadily meet my family’s needs.
Consistently and steadily meet my own needs.
I have a collection of lists that I refer to on daily/weekly basis that really helped me stay on top of things. These lists remind me of next steps to take without having to think too much about it, and they also help to capture important information.
I thought I’d share some of the lists I make and how I use them with little glimpses on a few items from each of my lists too! If you get a little kick out of organizing things like I do, you might enjoy this!
The apps I use are: Evernote & Notion mostly. Google Docs and Google Keep come in handy too!
I have been contemplating what would be most helpful to write about during this time of adjusting to our new normal. I decided to share with you some simple practices (other than daily meditation/kriya) that I keep in my emotional and spiritual wellness toolkit that have always serve to anchor me during all seasons of life, and especially this one. Here are 3.
Imposter syndrome – feeling like you don’t belong in this room of brilliant people. Like it’s just a matter of time before they figure you out and realize they’ve made a mistake. That it’s all just been a ruse, and you’re a fraud. That you never deserved to be here, to win this, to get this, to have this. And soon, everyone will know. It is basically the act of attributing your successes to every reason under the sun other than your own great effort. Some of the most iconic, talented and intelligent people have experienced this – and it affects women especially (which really speaks to a much deeper rooted issue in regards to our societal standards).
It’s not worth it. And it’s disappointing. Because it needlessly prevents us from stepping into our greatness. It stops us doing the great work of our life. It perpetuates anxiety and low self worth.
In this blog post, I offer us a few suggestions on how to slowly dismantle and quieten the voice in our head that tells us we are not intelligent enough, not talented enough, not qualified enough, not worthy enough, and just not damn good enough for this magnificent life of ours.
I am by no means a minimalist – I like and have a lot of things – but I am trying to be more conscious about my relationship with “things.” These are some of the guidelines I try to follow in my life.
Have the least number of a certain thing that you can
I aspire to have the lowest number of a certain thing that I need/want. I do this by frequently taking an inventory of the things I own and always trying to whittle it down to what really matters, what I really love, what I really use and what truly brings value to my life.