A relationship is a wonderful tool for your spiritual growth.
How you as a couple respond to conflict can tell you a lot about a relationship.
You can be in a partnership where every conflict pushes you further and further apart, or you can be in a relationship where every conflict brings greater intimacy and opportunities to get free.
And for the spiritual seeker getting free is the most important thing.
In the heat of conflict, it is very difficult to remain conscious. Most of us get swept up in our triggers, our stories, our opinions, our unhealed trauma.
I have learned that what we fight about is not as important as how we fight. I’ve learned that if you put your attention on fighting better, the topics that come up also tend to soften.
It is all part of learning to love another human being, and yourself.
Continue reading “How to create a blueprint for conflict: a map back to love”
My posting schedule has become a little erratic. After 3 months working from home at my parents house in BC, we moved back to Minnesota where I’m involved in a few research projects. I’m still finding my groove here. Reya is back at daycare. My husband and I largely work from home but I do go into the hospital on days where I have patients to enroll or meetings to attend.
I am applying for Internal Medicine residency later this year. It’s sort of a pinnacle moment of my life; something I’ve worked towards for the last few years, and I’ve battled a lot of inner demons to get to this place. The application process is extensive, and along with working and spending time with my husband and Reya, I don’t have a lot of free time at the moment. It’s something I need to prioritize over the next few months, so while I will continue to post consistently on here, the interval between posts may be a little longer.
That being said – today I want to talk about relationships and the little ways we can steadily show up to do the work of love. Here are some simple practices that grow love and connection between my husband and I during this busy season of life.
Make their happiness your priority
Every morning, I ask my husband 2 questions.
“What is one thing you could do today that would make you feel productive?”
This is usually one of his most important tasks of the day. The needle mover. Things like “Finish the brief I’m working on / this chapter / this draft / start my online course etc”
Continue reading “Simple daily relationship practices to grow love”
I have a juicy topic to discuss with you today. Marriage. Life-long commitments to love. Soulmates.
You may have noticed that I love love, and that I love my husband. I am romantic and I am a relationship oriented person. I learned many of my major life lessons through the relationships I’ve had – and though that is not everyone’s path, and perhaps not the path I would necessarily recommend, it has been my experience and I honour it as such.
Many of you may also already know that I had an arranged marriage. I believe I have a valuable perspective as a person who has had relationships and has ultimately had an arranged marriage. Picking your life partner, your ride or die is a very important decision. And it is something we have to do when we’re relatively young and don’t necessarily have the life experience, maturity or wisdom to pick a good one. We may not even have the skills we need to grow love, I know I certainly didn’t. It’s one of those things you learn while doing. It is the great work of love.
Here are some of my thoughts on finding the one.
Continue reading “Thoughts on finding the one”