You cannot become the person you want to be when you are focused on the behaviour of another person
Why did they do that/say that?
I wonder what they meant by that?
Why did they use that tone with me? They must be upset/angry/sad with me etc.
What do they think of me?
What are they thinking about the situation?
When I find myself in a situation where I am tangled up in a web of worry and restlessness based on one of these thoughts- I remind myself that what I am doing is focusing on the behaviour and thoughts of another person. These are two things that I have no control over, and quite frankly, is not my business.
When you focus on another persons behaviour, a couple things happen.
Firstly, you spend a lot of time, energy and emotions on something you cannot control. It’s needless emotional labour, and it tires you out.
Secondly, you forfeit your opportunity to be the person you want to be.
As soon as I notice I am feeling anxious about something, I ask myself “is this about the behaviour/thoughts of another person?” If yes, I step out of my stories, and ask myself “Who do I want to be in this situation? And what can I do/say/act that is in accordance with that?”
And I do that thing. This is my way out.
Continue reading “10 Mindset shifts that have changed my life”
Happy June full moon, readers! Today I answer some of the thought-provoking questions you submitted over the last month.
Greetings! I’m trans (ftm) and my family have basically disowned me ever since I came out. Struggling with feeling abandoned by my family. How do I move on from this kind of betrayal from the people who are supposed to love me no matter what?
I am so sorry you are going through this pain.
If your family disown you, then you certainly earn the right to choose your family. Your chosen family will be the people who show up for you every day. Not because of biology, obligation or societal expectations, but because they simply want to. In that way – you have the opportunity to create the truest version of “family.”
Continue reading “Q&A: Chosen family, motherhood, living an ordinary life, free will & karma”
Imposter syndrome – feeling like you don’t belong in this room of brilliant people. Like it’s just a matter of time before they figure you out and realize they’ve made a mistake. That it’s all just been a ruse, and you’re a fraud. That you never deserved to be here, to win this, to get this, to have this. And soon, everyone will know. It is basically the act of attributing your successes to every reason under the sun other than your own great effort. Some of the most iconic, talented and intelligent people have experienced this – and it affects women especially (which really speaks to a much deeper rooted issue in regards to our societal standards).
It’s not worth it. And it’s disappointing. Because it needlessly prevents us from stepping into our greatness. It stops us doing the great work of our life. It perpetuates anxiety and low self worth.
In this blog post, I offer us a few suggestions on how to slowly dismantle and quieten the voice in our head that tells us we are not intelligent enough, not talented enough, not qualified enough, not worthy enough, and just not damn good enough for this magnificent life of ours.
Continue reading “How to overcome imposter syndrome”
Cultivating and designing a worthy life is a balance of the goodness you infuse it with, along with the boundaries you place that protect your joy. I thought I would share with you some of the things I decided to stop doing, which I have found to be just as critical as the things I do do.
Continue reading “5 Things I don’t do”