Happy June full moon, readers! Today I answer some of the thought-provoking questions you submitted over the last month.
Greetings! I’m trans (ftm) and my family have basically disowned me ever since I came out. Struggling with feeling abandoned by my family. How do I move on from this kind of betrayal from the people who are supposed to love me no matter what?
I am so sorry you are going through this pain.
If your family disown you, then you certainly earn the right to choose your family. Your chosen family will be the people who show up for you every day. Not because of biology, obligation or societal expectations, but because they simply want to. In that way – you have the opportunity to create the truest version of “family.”
My spiritual practice is not glamorous. It can seem mystical and enchanting from the outside. But once you get into it, once you do it every day, it becomes mundane.
It’s like brushing your teeth. It isn’t particularly exciting to do, but you realize the importance of it, and your day just wouldn’t feel quite right without it.
One thing I often remind myself is that consistency and a steady focus is important if you want to get anywhere in life. If you start digging for water in one spot, after some time, you will get there. But often what happens is that we dig for a few hours, and then think “Hmm that spot over there looks better” and run over there and start over. After some time has passed, we decide we need better digging tools. Or we see a friend who seems to be making great progress in their spot with their tools and technique so we rush over to see if we can try it too. With all these changes in direction, we will never get to our water. Well, we might, but it will take a very long time.
You don’t need to change worry about changing the tools you have. The only thing we need to concern ourselves with is deepening desire for it.
Everything else – the teacher, the tools, the technique – will fall into place. At least, that has been my experience.
If you feel like your meditation practice has become a little stagnant, then I have some tips for you.
During my 6 week stay in India, I decided I would immerse myself in another shambhavi mahamudra mandalam – where the kriya is practiced twice a day for 40 days. I was first initiated into this kriya in 2016, and have been practicing it on and off since then. Off – because I spent a large part of these two years pregnant twice, and found this kriya aggravated my morning sickness – making it very hard to complete. I wrote about the first time I did a 40 day practice here. Reading back on that account, I realized that I mostly just shared my experience with Isha’s Inner Engineering, but didn’t speak much on the actual kriya itself. I guess I just didn’t have much to say, because if I did, I probably would have said it! All I can say now is that this 40 day experience was a completely different experience to the first time I did it – which only demonstrates to me how each time you engage in your spiritual practice, it has the potential to become deeper and more saturated. My first 40 day cycle was really a beautiful introduction into a new direction of being and life, and I have maintained this direction for the last 2 years. It changed my life. This 40 day cycle went deeper, somehow. It changed my life in a different, more potent way. It changed me.
Friends, it has been almost 2 months since I last wrote anything. Life has been full to say the least. I took the USMLE Step 1 exam. I packed up everything from my life in my parents home for the last 7 months and went back to Toronto for 2 weeks. Those 2 weeks were spent with my husband, packing and cleaning and basically trying to move in again to our “new home” that I have barely lived in. Then we got on a plane and flew to India, and that is where I am now.
Since mid last year I have had my heart set on finding an authentic rudraksha mala. And finally, I have found one and it has found me! Thank you to my husband, who gifted it to me from the Isha Shoppe, after sathsang last saturday.
In September I attended Isha’s Inner Engineering program. During the course, a concept that really permeated deep into me was realizing that I have the capacity within me to be a mother to all beings of this world. This was weeks before I found out that I was pregnant. I am a mother of the world. A mother is creation and nurturing. A mother is your biggest cheerleader, she believes endlessly in your goodness, a mother picks you up and puts you together again when you are broken in a heap on the floor.