My little bird that flew away

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Life has been floating by. I stopped writing and I stopped taking photographs. I just couldn’t find it in me. I think there was too much to feel and be a part of lately.

After Mia’s due date passed, I couldn’t quite come back from it.  The day itself was as difficult as I had anticipated, but there was a heaviness in the weeks to follow that made life slow and tired.  I feel forever changed, touched by death.

I spent a short time with my parents in BC. One afternoon I said to my mother “I am to you what Mia is to me. You must love me so much.”

My mom just smiled.

Slowly, I find myself coming back to my words.

And I wrote something about my daughter. It was too big to be a poem, and too small to be a story. So here it is, rough, but loved – a little piece of writing from my heart.


I waited for you, for a very long time, since the beginning of the winter, since the beginning of time. You promised you would come one summer, and that one day we would meet, one day we would fly together, and my heart would be complete.

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When life gives you lemons

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I consider myself a fortunate person with a blessed life.

But I have been both the giver and receiver of lemons.

And I guess losing our daughter was a lemon. I think we can all agree on that.

But no matter what happens to me in my life, no matter what experiences I am thrown into, I have the opportunity to ask myself these questions;

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Why I’m not a positive person

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I’ve asked some friends and they said they would consider me to be a positive person. In fact, as I walk this unimaginable path of the loss of our first unborn child, so many have told me they admire my positivity.

Even my husband often says that I’m a positive person.

But really, I’m not. I’m not a positive person.

…But I’m not a negative person either.

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