How to heal from traumatic experiences in life

Hello my friends!

Today I want to discuss how to face and overcome the traumatic experiences in our life. Life is hard. We all get served up experiences that can really rock us at our core, and is varied and unique for everybody. My question is, how do you go through these devastating and life altering situations and still continue to put one foot in front of the other, and still live with joy in your heart.

Continue reading “How to heal from traumatic experiences in life”

I need you to remember who I really am.

I read this lovely little story in the book “Conversations with God” (I apologize I do not remember which book 😦 ) and I would like to share it with you. This is my shortened version, similar to the one that was paraphrased in the book.

Here is a link to the full version of this short story if you are interested.

 

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Once upon a time there was a little soul who lived in Heaven with God. This little soul was getting ready for being born on earth again and was asking God some questions about it.

The little soul had decided that when she was born she wanted to experience one of the divine attribute of God. The little soul had many to choose from, such as: kindness, unconditional love, infinite possibilities, abundance, sharing, helpful, considerate to others etc.

God asked the little soul “Well, little soul, have you decided what part of your true self you want to experience in your new little life?”

The little soul thought about it for a long time and finally decided “I know what I want to be now! I want to be a special part of God called “forgiving”. That’s what I want to be. I want to experience myself as that; as forgiving.”

God smiled and gently explained to the little soul “The only problem is, there is no one to forgive.”

“No one?” The little soul could hardly believe what had been said.

“No one! Everything I have made is perfect. There is not a single soul in all creation that is less perfect than you. So, then, who will you forgive?”

Just then, a happy spirit stepped forward to the little soul and God.

“Don’t worry little soul, I can help you!”

The little soul was delighted. “You can?!?!?!?!”

“Certainly!” Chirped the happy spirit. “I can come into your next life and give you something that you can forgive.”

“Why would you do that?” asked the little soul.

“I would do it because I love you.”

The little soul was surprised.

“Don’t be so surprised little soul. We have done all of this before and many times before. We have been through all of it. We have laughed together, cried together. We have been good to eachother, we have been bad to eachother. We have been male and female, we have been lovers and enemies. We have been both the victim and the villain. And we always come together, always bringing eachother the exact and perfect opportunity to experience and express who we really are” the happy spirit explained further “and so I will come into your next life and I will do something so terrible to you so that you experience forgiveness. So that you can be the one who forgives me.”

The little soul was so excited and happy to have found such a friendly spirit that wanted to help the little soul.

“But in return…” the happy spirit continued “I have just one favour to ask you.”

“Anything, anything!” cried the little soul “what can I do for you?”

“In the moment that I strike you and smite you,” the happy spirit replied “in the moment that I do the worst to you that you can possible imagine – in that very moment…”

“Yes?” asked the little soul….

“I needyou to remember who I really am.”

 

 

This is one of my favourite little stories. It is about forgiveness and love.

It is about remembering. Remembering that you are perfect.

Remembering that there is nothing to do but to love. And when you remember that, everything becomes easy to do.

Moving on becomes easy. Letting go becomes easy. Saying sorry becomes easy. Being happy becomes easy.

And if our paths have ever crossed, and I have ever hurt you – with my thoughts, my actions, my fears, my intentions, my words – I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me and to forgive yourself.

 

 

And God said “Always remember, I have sent you nothing but angels.”

 

I don’t know you

 

I don’t know you but I know that when you came alive, you were born to be someone very special.

I don’t know you, but I know that when you were a child, you looked at the world like it was a wonderland, and somewhere along the way, wondered where the magic went.

I don’t know you but I know you have loved someone more than you thought you could.

I don’t know you but I know that there is no one else in the world quite like you.

I don’t know you but I know you’ve looked at your naked body in the bathroom mirror and felt totally disconnected with your body.

I don’t know you but I know that you have some memories from a long time ago that still hurt to think about today.

I don’t know you, but I know that there was a moment in your life when you asked yourself the painful question “is there something wrong with me?”

I don’t know you but I know there came a day when you debated whether you should chase the colours of your dreams or just be “real” and troubled over why those two lives couldn’t be the same.

I don’t know you but I know that one day you woke up and looked in the mirror and felt completely beautiful.

I don’t know you but I know that you’ve once hurt somebody just because they hurt you first.

I don’t know you but I know that you’ve hurt somebody with your words and realized that you could never take them back.

I don’t know you but I know that you believe in love, and even in the times you don’t, I know you would if you let yourself fall.

I don’t you but I know that you’ve felt betrayed.

I don’t know you but I know that you’ve privately questioned things you’ve spent your life convincing yourself and other people you’re sure about.

I don’t know you but I know that sometimes you wish you had more courage.

I don’t know you but I know that you’ve cried and felt better afterwards.

I don’t know you but I know that somebody you love has died.

I don’t know you but I know that you’ve felt stuck in a job that you’ve out grown.

I don’t know you but I know that you’ve been afraid to leave, even though in your heart, you knew you had to.

I don’t know you but I know there is something in your life to be very proud of.

I don’t know you but I know that you sometimes still think about the one that got away.

I don’t know you but I know that you there are times you look back on your life and see the way all the seeming coincidences have all been in your favour.

I don’t know you but I know you have felt judged for who you are.

I don’t know you but I know that there is someone out there who loves you and believes in you and wants you just the way you are.

I don’t know you but I know it hurts when somebody doesn’t believe in you and your big dreams, no matter who that somebody is.

I don’t know you but I know there is someone who thinks you are the coolest person ever without even trying.

I don’t know you but I know that you have pictured how life would carry on if you died.

I don’t know you but I know there have been moments where you have felt completely cherished and loved.

I don’t know you but I know there are times when you have made a difference, even when you don’t believe you have.

I don’t know you but I know that as a teenager, you tried hard to fit in and stand out, all at the same time.

I don’t know you but I know there’s something you are very good at, and could be even more wonderful at.

I don’t know you but I know you have a talent that you neglect because you don’t believe you have enough time or money.

I don’t know you but I know that if you just took a moment to realize how loved, howcherished, and how special you are, you would find yourself in all your friends, and families, and enemies and strangers. And you would see that your stories are everybodies stories, and that doesn’t make them any less important or any less meaningful. It just makes us human. And real. And you would see how together we are in everything we have ever faced, and will ever face in our lives. And you would see that you are never really alone. And you would open your eyes, your arms, and your heart

and you would come home.

again.

How to get over someone else’s judgement of your awesomeness

Have you ever felt judged?

Do the people around you make you feel “wrong” for doing something you want to do or being someone you want to be?

Let me tell you something, it’s definitely not a party.

Do you sometimes find yourself playing life to someone elses rules? Miss Prescot recently told me “This is the game that you play. You do something and call it “right” and then you do something and call it “wrong” and then you repeat this over and over again for the rest of your life. And it doesn’t stop there. You then continue to judge people, things, situations and circumstances based on your own game.”

She is just full of these little pearls of wisdom.

But what happens if you are doing something that feels right for you, but you are made to feel that it is “Wrong” because of culture, society, your friends and your enemies?

It’s not an easy opponent to face.

Here’s a simple recipe to combat those not-so-nice feelings that accompany the feeling of being belittled or made to feel “wrong”.

 

  1. Firstly, take a moment to re-evaluate your intention.

The first thing you want to do is to figure out what your truest intention is. The worst thing is to do something “right” for the wrong reasons, or something “wrong” for the right reasons. It’s all about self-integrity – and developing certain level of congruency between your intentions, and your morals, values and beliefs. They have to be in alignment.

It doesn’t even matter what other people think at this stage. What is more important is what you think of yourself.

So why are you doing what you are doing? Why are you wanting to do what you are doing or being or saying or feeling? Are you okay with it? If you’re not, you can either get comfortable with it, or do something differently.

If you can’t be clear about what you want for yourself  (and why you want it)– then how can you expect anybody else to be clear about their feelings towards it?

2. Sometimes when we feel judged by another, we are really just judging ourselves.

Think about it. If somebody verbally insulted me with an insult that I simply just couldn’t recognize within myself, I would just let it go. For example: “MALAVIKA, your feet are sooooo huge that they make you look so U.G.L.Y”

I would be taken aback, and then amused, and then I would just laugh it off. Because I know it’s not true. I have tiny feet. I know this. I love myself enough to accept and cherish and know of my tiny feet. Nothing anyone says can ever shake that strong foundation I have when it comes to my feet.

I’m starting to question whether I chose the best example, but I’m in too deep now! So let’s keep rollin’.

But if someone said insulted me about something that I recognized within myself (but maybe was not ready to accept yet), I would feel a pang in my stomach. I would feel offended. Hurt. Sad. Angry.

For example “Malavika, you talk about breakdancing so much, it is SO annoying”

I’m trying to keep these examples light. So hearing this probably won’t make me feel god-awful, but I will definitely think about it and probably feel a little bad for making someone so annoyed that they had to actually say something to me about it.

(In my defence – how can you not want to talk about it?!)

But in my heart, I probably know I’m doing it.

Oh my goodness, could this be one of the WORST examples given ever? I think so. It’s 11:00pm and I’m very tired.

 

So think about it –are you judging yourself for the things that you are angry that someone else is judging you for?

If you ask yourself this question and realize that you are – then get over it and move on with your life, lady! You’ve got too much pretty to be wasting sitting around feeling bad about something that makes your soul smile.

3. Ignore the feeling, but not the person.

You know one of those moments when someone says something to you that’s just so simple, but also quite profound – and it just sticks with you. And you just know that you will remember that forever? Yeah, I got myself one of those today. Actually, that was what inspired this entire post. This point right here.

So, what do you do with those horrible feelings of inadequacy and judgement, after you’ve done all the inner work and somehow figured out that the awesomeness that is you need not bother yourself with feeling judged for doing what you want to do.

You ignore the feelings!

Forget about it.

It’s gone.

Sooo long, suckers!

But don’t ignore the person. Why would you play that game? Treat everyone the same, with love, kindness, understanding and compassion.

But release their grip on you.

Remember, we can do all good things in a graceful, loving, and kind way. In fact-it is quite essential!

So whenever you feel judged, just let it go. Figure out if it is worth letting go, and if it is, follow your heart and let it go. Ignore those feelings – they will go away, I promise.

And treat whoever is sending you those feelings with love – a sure fine way to neutralize anything negative coming from them.

 

Who’s life are you living? Who’s rules are you playing by? It’s important that we take charge of our lives today, and do what makes us happy, and never let anybody or anything stop us from singing our songs and dancing our dance. Make music. Laugh loudly. Fall in love.

And never be afraid to do these things that are real to you.

 

If you want to be given everything – give everything up.

Have you ever watched the movie “Crash” (I totally recommend it). I absolutely loved the soundtrack from the movie – this one song in particular:

In the deep – Bird york.

 

 

 

The best part of this song, was at the end of it, the woman’s voice that whispers “If you want to be given everything, give everything up.”

I think this is the perfect summery of what it means to be in a state of receiving. To not be attached to one outcome in particular.

Sometimes we cling to steadfastly onto what we believe is the “highest possible outcome” for ourselves. We think – this is how it has to be. Anything that deviates from this – is “Wrong.”

And sometimes these things don’t work out, and we are sad and all kinds of empty. And we wonder “what went wrong? Why doesn’t anything work out for me?”

When my troubles come rolling in, and things don’t go the way I planned, and I question myself and the universe, Miss Prescot gently reminds me that “So things didn’t happen the way you planned. This is exciting. This means that even the highest vision you had for yourself is not as high and great and as mighty and as wonderful as the one the universe has for you. So now all you have to do is wait, and be surprised!”

If you want something, and it just doesn’t seem to be happening – it’s time to let it go. It’s time to let it go so that it can actually happen for you.

It’s kind of like closing your eyes and telling someone “you can get me any gift you want for Christmas, but only if it’s a red car!!!”

 

Letting go is scary. I’ll be the first to admit that. It’s hard to embrace nothingness – but this is where all good things bloom.

 

It’s like leaving a long term relationship that just isn’t right for you anymore.

And not having somebody else you may be interested in.

And not really having any real plan about what to do now, other than loving yourself.

 

It’s like leaving a job that you thought was right for you (And maybe was right for you for some time – but perhaps not any more).

And not having another one ready to go.

And not really having any real plan about what to do now, other than experiencing yourself.

 

 

It’s that moment of emptiness and possibilities. You’re living on the edge. You’re living on the horizon of your life. And for that moment – however long this moment may last – you are completely open. You are open to a higher reality.

It is in this moment that something new is about to open up for you, but we so rarely step away from our shore, that we don’t see the ship coming in.

Be ready to let go.

Of everything.

Even the things you think you need.

Especially the things you think you need.

Life is dynamic. Allow it to change. And become ok with it.

It’s a moment of living on the brink. You may be full of fear. But if you just experience the fear, and let it wash over you, what will remain is passion, creativity, and inspiration.

 

Please never be afraid of recreating yourself. This is your birth right. We are bornmto be free, with this innate ability recreate ourselves in order to experience ourselves in a different way. Just because you’ve done something this way for a long time, does not justify doing it forever.

 

What can you let go of today?