My mother taught me to pray the best way that someone can teach anyone to pray. Prayer is the silent language of Indian Spirituality that everybody speaks in temples. But I didn’t know the words.
From the outside, prayers in temples looked like eyes closed, palms together at the chest, a secret communion with God. Sometimes teardrops, sometimes bought to your knees. But what was going on inside? I had no idea.
I first stepped on to my self-development path when I was 16 and miserable. Not that my sadness was anything extraordinary or heartbreakingly poignant, just a case of the teenage blues, I guess. I was bored of life and bored of myself. I started by reading self-help books, which is usually the gateway-concept of New Age Spirituality these days. These books told me that I was beautiful, confident and perfect just the way I am. So I believed that for a while, and I think that at the time, it helped in some weird way. Then I came across all the classic hallmarks of New Age Spirituality, like – The law of attraction, angels, spirit guides, animal totems, lucid dreaming, “the secret”, meditation, psychics, “intuition is a muscle bla bla bla”. You know, all the fundamentals. So after my “self-help” stage, I found myself moving into this “New-Age Spirituality” thing. Spirituality of the new age; a chance for the non-religious to explore spiritual issues without submitting to the old guy in the sky (God) and his rules. I was happy there; happy to be away from religion, happy to be able to make up my own mind about my intimate spiritual beliefs and how I saw the world, and proud to say that though I may not believe in God, I had found my own special thing to believe in.
So I started wading through the shallow waters of the self-help market, followed by the murky waters of New-Age Spirituality, and I just continued to go deeper and deeper. And what was I searching for? I was searching for knowledge and wisdom on how to live a good life and how to cultivate happiness. I began to gain more and more profound understanding of the laws of the universe, and I was so excited by my discoveries. I could see the horizon in the distance. Somehow, everything I was learning was slowly coming to an end and soon I would be at the beginning of the next stage, the next level of my pursuit for spiritual understanding. I was getting closer and closer. I wondered what could be more “true” than what I already deemed to be true. I could only imagine and ponder what could be on the other side of this meaningful journey I was on. What was behind that closed door? Finally I got there, at the beginning of the next leg of my journey. And what did I find?…dun dun dun…..