3 years ago today, I was labouring to deliver my stillborn daughter. I was frightened, overwhelmed, traumatized, and heartbroken. It hurts to think about it.
Thinking about it on most days makes me feel nostalgic with twinges of cutting pain, but thinking about it today makes me want to throw up.
Today, I am just riding the waves of grief. Grief is a physiologic experience. I have no control over it. My heart tells me “Everything is ok. Time has passed. You are healing. ” but every cell in my body is in agony right now. I am just willing for that to be real and true today.
It is a sad, sad thing to lose a child.
I have another pre-written post intended to be posted today, but it doesn’t feel right to share that today. It will be here tomorrow.