So…I have been distracted with the new Facebook page I created for this blog. It’s a nice change from blogging, with shorter more frequent posts. More photographs and visuals. More personal. I wish I was better at this social media stuff, but I guess I can start here.
Today I am writing about something that is very much rooted in my own self-reflection; a pattern of complacency and tendency for mediocrity that I have noticed in myself. This blog post may be more of a rambling than anything else. Perhaps something more for my diary, than for my blog. But here it is anyway.
Enjoying the process vs trying to get somewhere
We’re told different things about the best way to approach something we do. One piece of advice we are given is that we’re told we should “enjoy the process,” and to not be attached to the fruits of our labour.
Well, that makes sense, I think.
A labour of love. To work for simply the joy of working. To enjoy every step in the process. Whatever may come from it, is just a big beautiful bonus.
I think for almost everything in my life, this is the mindset I have had.
For example, I write this blog because I truly enjoy to write. I used to write when nobody read it, and now I continue to write when a small crowd of you read my writings. Every comment, every e-mail, every piece of positive feedback I have received from you is an unexpected blessing to me, and it encourages me.
And yet, if every single one of you stopped reading my blog, and stopped reaching out to me about it, I would still write anyway. It’s just something inside me. It’s how I process life, and I couldn’t stop that from happening.
But lately, I have been contemplating the difference between doing something to enjoy the process of it, and doing something with a burning desire that I need to get something out of it.
Sometimes, I feel that focusing only on enjoying the process, has kept me trapped in mediocrity. I want to have something to show for the effort I put into my life. And so, I need to try a new way of approaching things, because I’ve done it the same way for too long, and I feel like something is missing.
A senseless waste of time
For example:
If I went to the gym every day, and after a few months, I check my progress, and I haven’t made any or I have gotten worse, then I know that something needs to change.
I might enjoy certain exercises, I might enjoy running, or resistance training. But I don’t do it because I enjoy it. I do it because I want to get somewhere. I want my body to get to a certain state. If I enjoy the process, that is wonderful. But that isn’t why I go to the gym.
It doesn’t make sense for me to keep doing something in such a way that I don’t get anywhere with it. What’s the point? It feels like a waste of my time.
This is the case for so many things in life. Are the things I’m doing making me a better person in some way? Am I growing? Am I changing in the right ways? Am I opening up? Am I improving as an individual? Am I happier? Am I kinder? Am I helping more people?
Or am I doing the same old things every day and getting the same results? Am I just wasting my time and your time?
A lukewarm life
Everything I have done in my life is lukewarm. I rarely do anything with intensity inside me.
Everything I do is average; School, writing, yoga, spirituality, music, art, cooking & crafting.
I take everything to a certain level, and plateau in the sea of mediocrity. I never cross the threshold of what is comfortable. I never cross into the unknown, into the deep waters of possibility.
And I want to.
Getting somewhere.
Lately I have been trying things a different way. I have been trying to do the things I love, but with a sense of urgency.
With a sense of “Life is short. I don’t know how much time I have, but I know it isn’t much. I need to make something of this, I need something to happen, I need to get somewhere.”
Enlightenment. I don’t want to have to wait for 500 lifetimes, or even the next lifetime. I want to know now. I have so many unanswered questions. I want to live in truth. And I want it now, in this life.
I want to transform myself. I don’t want to live a half-life. I want to live a full life.
Mediocrity and my full potential
I don’t want to live trapped in mediocrity.
And I’m not talking about mediocrity in regards to other people and how they are doing.
I’m talking about the difference between what I do, and what I could do.
About how I do what I do, and how I could do it.
About who I am and who I could be.
I’m talking about how much of my full potential am I actually operating at?
Taking things to the next level
So, how do I plan to do this?
First, ask myself where do I want to go?
I want look at the things I love to do, and decide where I want to take them. And if I don’t know exactly that would look like, at the very least, I will decide that I must get somewhere other than where I am and where I have been,
Take the next step
This means either stepping out of my comfort zone, practicing more, learning more, making a real attempt at improving what I do.
Or
Doing what I can do with more intensity, more heart, more soul.
Life is short. Let’s get somewhere.
Malavika
xo
Thank you for writing my thoughts & feelings down in a way i couldn’t seem to express 😉 ….now i innerstand my desire to be more, and why…..I Salute your openness and willingness to share…Peace!
It’s my pleasure. I’m so glad you understand these feelings and I hope that it has inspired you in some way too!
Well said.
Thank you.
So much truth in this! The section on mediocrity and full potential really resonates with me. Time to stoke the inner flame and start to burn a little hotter!
Best of luck to you on “getting somewhere”!
We’re always aligned with these sorts of things, aren’t we? 🙂
If you don’t mind me asking, if you had to choose one particular area from your life that you want to get somewhere in, what would that be?
Hmmm… This is a tough one for me. I want to get to a place where I know that I am helping people live their best life. I’d also love to reconnect with my creative spirit and fill myself back up with passion for the arts.
That sounds really similar to my own callings. Glad we can walk this path together.
I hope you find your motivator. Sometimes the answer is doing less…it’s worth considering!
Anne
For sure. It’s just that I feel like I am interested in too many things.
“You can have it all, you just can’t have it all at once” as the saying goes, rings true to me.
I think what I need to do is choose a couple of my passions and focus on them for some time until they get to a level that I am happy with. Less is more 🙂
Thank you for your thoughtful comments, as always.
Ps. Great tattoo. Great reminder!
Many words have been written, even more has been said
Where does that bring us, from living to dead?
There`s no tomorrow, there is no yesterday
It`s only this moment, it`s only today
The things in your mind,a universe in your head
Every letter has been written, everything has been said
Materialistic confusion, samsara is here
We think we are living, but we`re already dead,,. 😉
True words! Thanks for sharing….
You’re not average at all. You’re wonderful. Your blog is beautiful. You touch so many hearts. Maybe it’s a matter of focus. Doing few things over and over leads to progress. Like piano players practicing the scales. Doing things for result… This is my whole life. It leads to a lot of suffering because it’s never enough. And to be honest, I still feel mediocre even though I devote my whole heart and soul into everything I do. I need more of your philosophy. Enjoying. Sailing. Savoring. Fire is good. Please don’t get burned. 🙂
Suzanne, your comment is both encouraging and helpful – exactly what I needed. Thank you.
Encouragement is to know that you find something beautiful and valuable in my blog.
Helpful is to hear from someone who has actually been operating under “doing things for result” – the way I have yet to try. I don’t doubt that does have it’s own particular set of challenges – as you said, perhaps never quite feeling good enough.
From reading my post, I am sure you can see that my philosophy also has it’s disadvantages.
I guess it’s about finding that balance of both. To know exactly how to use our internal energies to be, do and achieve gracefully and beautifully.
You’re right about focus. It’s something I need to work on. I feel so multi-passionate, but I have come to realize that all my interests fall under two large umbrellas – spirituality or creativity. So it does comfort me to know that there is some kind of thread tying all these things inside of me together.
Thank you for hearing me out.
Glad to meet you, and hope to stay in touch, friend xo
You are such a wonderful soul. Words that touch everyone of us in some way.
And for this I thank you beautiful soul.
I have travelled many paths throughout my life searching for the answer and peace within myself of what you speak.
I came to a point of exhaustion and one day just bursting into tears crying and saying I give up and all yours.
I stopped and searched inside myself to when I was a child asking what made me happy?
I acknowledged this, gave thanks and gratitude for bringing back the pieces of me that I lost along the way.
The pain,love,loss and joy experienced have created the beautiful person I am today.
The greatest gift one can allow yourself – is ” love thyself”
I’m now walking my talk,parting the curtains and surrounding myself with like-minded people who get it, without judgement and love you for you and not worldly possessions.
Love
T
T, thank you for your kind words of encouragement. They have truly brightened my day. Your story is one of beautiful courage – as E.E Cummings is quoted saying “it takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”
I’m so glad to hear that you are now living your life with more authenticity, and you’re right, spending time with people who adore the essence of YOU is such an important part of unearthing yourself.
Thank you for your beautiful sharing.
Love
m